Tuesday, 20 December 2011

So far so good.... Wish me luck.....

We are on track.... I think.  All jobs done, packing done bar the last things you need - kettle bed linen, clothes that are still drying on the radiators/clothes horse.

I need to take readings for gas and electricity tomorrow and ring the  solicitors re keys etc etc

Biggles has offered to remain behind and give a final hoover round etc etc and a check that nothing has been left behind. Bless hime
Oh yes have one set of curtains to take down tomorrow and a lamp shade to remove.

Once I am in will do the following:

Council tax
post office - redirection
tv licence
driving licence
mums bank details etc etc - I am power of attorney for her including tax man!!! and letting agent for her house that she rents out
Mums Care home
Weeny girls bank details
Credit cards - bah bah bah
Survey companies
insurance companies - life to cancel/rearrange as no house to pay for, ad contents
Car insurance

Can you think of anything else????

Saturday I shall shop for food for christmas/pick up what I need.

Hopefully I have the following arranged for Thursday

Cooker - delivery
Garden box delivery
TV Aeriel Chap  - Sky are evil!!! They cut your cables to your aeriel when they remove Sky to encourage you to sign up for a TV package you don't want.

I need to purchase:

Cat Flap - absolutely essential for pusskins
Cutain poles x 5 - required to stop heat from escaping!
Wardrobe storage clothes rail thing - only one for me. otherwise it will be chaos!
Lamp Shade - paper ones - 3 I think - will check- they are cheap and cheerful

Also I will be able to use Biggles Dongle wotsit!!! No electrical death however I will miss BT vision and being able to record.

I will acquire a carpet for my bedroom in time adn other items via Freecycle!

Monday, 19 December 2011

Fingers crossed for Solstice fun

Might happen- might not see how it goes. We still have our fire wood and weeny would love a fire and would love to bake and sing her song.

Will hopefully be able to access a pc somehow and let you know how we get on.
Tommorow will be my last post for a while!!


Penultimate night in my wee hoose!

The packing is on track.
I have the outhouse/shed to sort tomorrow and a redcurrant bush to pop into a large pot and also some small fern things. I need to sort the garden really I do.

I have cleaning of the bathroom and litchen cupboards, washing, my book case to decant, plates and other bits to find homes for. Oh and curtains to take down.

We are taking the majority of the freezer food  to Biggles house tomorrow so I can defrost the freezer. Will also move most of the fridge contents.

I am quite pensive.... This house meant a lot to me. It was my first permanent home- was supposed to be. Somewhere I could put down roots and mellow a while... maybe not forever and ever but it may well have been... somewhere I could invest time in the garden, neighbours etc.

Halloweens have been lovely as have the two Christmases I have spent here and the two summers with barbecues, flower growing. It is close to a beautiful part of the coast line.

The new house was too good to turn down but its not ours ( Weeny girl and I's) We will make it nice but I'm still searching as I know this isn't where the story ends. Where that is who knows....

 Its lovely for Weeny here. There is a play park at the bottom of the street, it is very safe, few cars lots of other kids and surrounded by families. The new place is very nice but not the quite as nice. Its the end of town I would have preferred not to be in but such is life.

Where we go to next and if we ever own again will be decided on at a later date.... am still keen on Durham  - not the city of Durham but the further out places like Crook or the villages. I will miss the coast but I can cope.  Weeny would miss it dreadfully she loves the beach with a passion though there are always holidays!

Ho hum  xxx

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Last christmas....... or was it the one before that.....

Taking a break from the chaos that is moving house.... am pondering my all time favourite christmasses

Hmmm in no order of prefererence - difficult to decide as they are all different.

1. Prague - Opera in Christmas day to see la traviata, nothing stops in Prague over christmas but it is very christmassy in a lower key less commercial way. Ate Carp on Christmas eve - traditional Czech meal 2004

2. Brunei - - tropical - fabulous- heat- islamic - minimal christmas! Done this one three times! Got a tan! 1993, 2006, 2009

3.  Last yeas - Weeny girls first I get CHRISTMAS - so lovely for that and a day spent in matfen Hall on Boxing day with Biggles was lovely - scrabble by an open fire getting tiddly or tiddlier on irish coffee....2010

4. Childhood ones - the bones that are a bit blurry now with mum and dad still alive and well before Dad got ill. The ill ones don't count 1972-1984ish

5.The Christmas that never was.........2007

I had planned a wonderful christmas  for myself and plan to do it one day.

As a non christmassy person and hating the commercialism I decided to escape to the Lakes with my then Labrador - booked way in  advance - cottage, books, food and dog for a week and able to explore.....peace, beauty, fires, mince pies... ahhhhh

Anyhoo found out I was pregnant and would be 38 weeks by then so a remote cottage on my own was not to be.............. one day however when I have a dog again.... I couldn't sgo so cancelled but buggered off to the Isle of Wight to catch up with my sister and family who were visiting her inlaws and got myself a lovely apartment for four nights. Poor dog couldn't come however so went into kennels.

(I couldn't bear to be with ex's family and have managed to never spend a christmas with them - to much focus on money, gluttony andd self self self. - and they have lots of outside lights at christmas....... how horrendous. Wreaths yes - but come on!  electricity - wasteful  environment never thought of, splash the cash obviously!!!

Any favourite christmases???

PS Als done one in Tunisia - last minute - not great, travelled on Christmas day, spent time drinking and smoking and checking out old and ancient ruins -  Not as islamic as I would have liked - ie they had decorations!!! bleurgh!!!

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Am sorry but I am really sickened by the OTT adverts for food and gluttony at Christmas. Its a day.
The waste is disgusting.

The food for our day will not be wasted. We have chicken and get a corn fed one from the butchers as a Turkey even a Turkey crown is far too much.

Some spuds, carrots, brussels, cauliflower and brocoli, stuffing, and a few pigs in blankets. make our own sauce - white, cheese and good old gravy - all done.

Pea soup - frozen pea soup - home made bread -starter

Two bottles of wine and a few beers (4) is  more than enough and lasts for Boxing day jollities as well - thats for two people and we often have stuff left. Doesn't go to waste can keep till new year!

Pavlova - home made with berries fruit etc as we don't do pudding or cake, (few home made short bread biccies/fairy cakes for weeny girl to make) Nice with a cup of tea.

Where do you have room for all the rest unless you are having a party on another day??? 

Ridiculous and wasteful if you ask me.

Never enough room for supper..... and it would be chicken sandwiches or cheese board snacks there was.

Why do I need to purchase sausage rolls, prawn rings, bottles of baileys.... Silly silly silly.

Will prob spend an extra £30 all in. Pah!   Get fed for two days with leftovers for soup, curry etc etc and pavlova lasts us at least four days puddings.

Frenzied food shopping - There is just no need. Please people - give your greedy money to charity rather than defrost your prepacked sausage rolls and end up chucking them in the bin.

Tut tut tut

Shops open again by Tuesday!

Eeek  Off to pack some more.

Stuffed again!!!


Bloody bloody hell

Have bit bullet and purchsed cooker on interest free credit for 1yr. ( See above issue) means I get a reasonably decent cooker ( investment) Gets delivered 22nd and fitted hopefully as long as both have right gas lock thing.

Have wrapped pressies and sorted to store at Biggles place. Am attacking each room individually. And cleaning as I go and labling etc.

Glad Ebay sorted Weeny girls christmas.

Also had to pay for  Swimming lessons -  I had this set aside. Once you start you just can't stop. It would be silly and a waste of money.

Internet, phone, tv fitted 6th January! Should be able to take morning/day off work.

How will I survive!!!!

Friday, 16 December 2011

Dear Chums - an enforced hiatus!!!

I am moving.

21st December.

I have the weekend and Tuesday to organise stuff. Monday I must go in to work as we care inteviewing for a new post and I am on the panel. It is essential that I am there.

I need to procure an oven of sorts

Checked out house - I will need the following asap

Cooker - ideally want one with double oven so can use small oven to cook stuff for me and weeny.
Curtain rail things - to keep curtains up and keep heat in and stop burglars and nosey neighbours form peering in and protecting ones modestly lol ) modest I ain't)
Bedroom carpet - can wait till sales for this - floor boards okish and I have a posh persian rug lol
Shower attachment for washing
Outside storage box thing for garden tools and weeny's bike.
Wardrobes - or clothes hanging things - I can wait for these! Freecycling starts now!

House fine other than that- carpets and floor covering in other rooms.

I need to paint the living room - remove a blue colour - magnolia wash comming on!!! may be Biggles will be nice on Monday and slap a coat on before I move.... if I ask him nicely - won't take long only half the wall that is blue....  Fingers crossed eh!

Also I may have to get TV aeriel fitted - not sure if Sky have done their utmost to disconnect aeriel I will book aeriel chap for Thursday 22nd just in case.

Phone is a pain. No line into property - not sure when BT will be able to come to do cabling..... no interweb  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Social death.....

So enforced hiatus dear chums.... as of 21st approx midday.   How long will the drout go on for????
Who knows!!!!

I will research cookers and curtain rails and garden storage boxes and check gumtree and freecycle. 

Have little storage in the house only one cuboard so do require some outdoor storage for a lawn mower, strimmer and barbecue and childs bike.

Will need a plumber to fit dishwasher and a joiner to fit cat flap as well. ASAP!!!!  Poor puss's need to stay on otherwise. I don't do litter trays- nor do they very well either.

Time for research then!!!

Any pointers to good prices, knowledge on fitting a gas cooker or shower attachments are all very very much appreciated!!!!

Thursday, 15 December 2011


yah boo sucks
1. Cracked Windscreen  £60 - could have been worse and could be more I suppose.
2. Goal for moving - potentially 21st Dec
3. Need to pay rent tomorrow 282???
4. Removal  fees £350
5. £1700 for excess/shortfall, estate agent fees and solicitor.

I am in major deficit. I need to obtain a stand alone cooker. I am hoping they have left flooring.....

oh well,  must get on with it......

Monday, 12 December 2011

Letter to Santa

We posted our letter to Santa - popped it in the post box . It is filled with pink sparkly glitter so will cheer up the posties when they get it. I our address in as well. See if Royal Mail reply.. They used to given the time. We may have left it late or they may not do it anymore.

We need to wrap pressies and bake. Biscuits - to be given to friends, jam tart things as weeny doesn't like mince pies, choc brownies, maybe some tiffin..... All good to cut up and give as gifts. need some paper bags or plastic wrapping. Ok maybe not the jam tarts - we will scoff the lot!!!

Also need to pay for more sodding swimming lessons £68 for the term!!!! Ahhhhh   We will carry on. I need to hand the cheque over this week sniff.

No news on moving. I sign for new tennancy beginning on 19th so will have to stump up rent as well as mortgage for a while. grrr solicitors.

Santa visit may be out this year. The Alnwick Garden is charging £5 plus enterance to the garden. Sorry I only want Santa.  Not paying the extortionate entry fee or the silly hot choc prices.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Busy Weekend and other stories

Well we had swimming, a car accident, Sundays dinner on Saturday, some time together, a walk on the beach and woods to find detritus forthcoming yule festivities, the making of a wreath for the front door a lunch with friends and a goodbye at the train station.

It snowed Friday night so Saturday there was a light covering of snow.

On the way back from the pool - (Biggles came to watch a duckling) we were stationary at a junction - about to turn right when a 4x4 slid into us. Nice. Dafty behind the wheel sorry going to be sexist now was female and one of the hoi polloi chelsea tractor set who said in her defense that she had the four wheel drive on and didn't understand what went wrong..... Doh!!! That only gives you traction not grip you Bint!!! You still need to drive slowly in icy condition. She was not.  B car bumped - not massively and driveable but not the point. We were not happy. Will cost on insurance. Thankfully she is insured.

I understand icy if you are going slowly. Even I know 4x4 four wheel drive does not make you slide proof- its a heavy car and she did brake but in ice thats no help at all. If B had pulled forward she woudl have gone into rear of the car where weeny was in back.

Its a further hassle as B left for London today and he may be car less while it is fixed when he returns at the weekend/during his leave. Easy for Mrs Bint 4x4 as she has another means of transport - a second /third car.

Four wheel 4x4 drivers really can piss me off. Apart form the obvious environmental impact - They think they are inpenetrable in their wagons and yes they are but sod any other road user - we don't care what becomes of them we have four wheel drive so we are all right.

Managed a mooch to the beach and woods in the afternoon. A fed up B stayed in to listen to Football. We found some good stuff for the front door wreath.

 Scouring for shells with holes in them for deorated pressies - and our detritus wreath- Priceless lots of fun , simple and a joint effort - sticking dead flowers into the green foilage and adding pine cones!!! Weeny was very proud! Smells good too!

Took B to the station for 1pm. He returns on Friday. Sigh- this is it for the next two years approx.

had a lovely lunch with some friends and Weeny at an Italians all the way in North Shields. One of my dear ex work colleagues has terminal cancer. We don't know how long as she only has drug therapy left as an option. been justover a year since her diagnosis.  Liver, Lung and bones. Liver is the big problem.  She is doing ok given...

We have learn't a Yule Song in prep for our Yule Fire night!  Welcome to the Holly king, the holly king the holly king, welcome to the holly king its time to go to sleep, Welcome to the oak tree king the oak tree king x2 Spring will come again. We shall skip round the fire singing it!!!

Biggles  birthday was fab- we had Chilli - a hot one - made specially for his tastebuds only! and Birthday fruits of the forest and Kiwi Pavlova made by yours truly. He doesn't do birthday cake. Made cards, gave pressies etc etc Weeny enjoyed it as much as him.

Her nativity was by all accounts very good. Biggles went in my place as no time off work. She was so happy when she spotted him in the audience and waved and began to sing and do her actions alot louder and stronger. He was dead chuffed and gushing about it adn the blowing of kisses. Bless em both.
She was an angel. One day she may make Mary you never know....lol

Have much xmas cooking to do as well as the visit to Santa and some more bits to purchase- just silly stuff and a few cards to send - home made by Weeny of course!!!

Another Monday calls- only four days this week and a trip to a retirement do dar whatsit on day off!!!

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Yule!!! What to do???

Thinks its about time we do Yule!!! We try to do lots of celebrations - Chinese New Year, passover ( a bit) Halloween/Samhain a wee bit etc etc etc Season table stuff etc etc  I insist on a bit of God at Christmas - we have a crib scene and do the stories. Won't celebrate owt without a referral to the reasons why people celebrate it- no thinking - even a little bit of reflection will suffice

So far I have gathered that I will need a log - should have dried one a while ago but obviously didn't- where coudl I procure one do you think???

I have a fire pit I use of camping

I need to decorate it?? Anything with candles of a specific colour???

We have a yule log fire on solstice adn drink mulled wine, cider and watch the log burn. Also something about wishes for the new year and the coming of the Oak king and good bye to the holly king???

Any info and advice most welcome. Weeny will love it!!  We can go searching for appropriate decorations next weekend. Will also be doing the baking for the season next week. Oh and Biggles birthday mid week.


todays jobs..................

todays jobs

garden stuffs
dye hair.....

big list.... maybe i set my sights too high......lol

Saturday, 3 December 2011

I have tempted fate...............

The xmas decos are up...... Its for weeny. We will probably move now before xmas. I am resigned to having to pay for both rent and mortgage till the solicitors get their arse into gear.

Two trees, one fibre optic, one not, two sets of lights, two crib scenes, one tree is silver and frosty light blue ( green with white fibre optic)  other is traditional red and gold. We had fun. Oh and horrendous window stickers.

Partm swimming, playdate shopping. Now onto card making. Off to other family tomorrow. The SD ( guess what that stands for ;-)) cancelled for today and tonight. His choice- can not stand in the way of a horse getting to water but you can't force it to the trough or make it drink.
  Best go we have preparations to do!

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Thursdays.. nearly the weekend!!! Whoo hoo

Am  liking Thursday night telly!!!

Penny pinchers or whatever they call it - Good for frugal tips. liking the frugal wedding with all the trimmings. £1500 - for what they had it wasn't bad at all!!!!  Expensive weddings like the mother of the bride said really do not make a marriage. ( Been there done that got the t shirt)   Where did that woman get all the free vouchers from??? Does she have a job outside of the home???  No judgement just that I would love to devote more of my time to saving a few bob by acquiring the huge amount of vouchers that she had. I also have the issue of travel. Nearest decent tesco is 40mins away via the A1 south. So not as economical as having it on your door step.

Living with the Amish!!!! Am fascinated by these peeps and their simple life.

B is away setting up his London pad. Weeny goes away to the other family on Saturday after swimming and yet another party.  See how she goes. Was in bits last time she went and I had to walk away... which I hate. B was there and was also a bit upset by her not wanting to go with the other family.

I will spend the time de cluttering, Christmas gift wrapping, gardening type stuff. Mostly in the house.

It is B birthday on Wednesday. Pavlova and chili it is as per his request. have a card and a novelty gift for him. Can't afford to buy him the sort of gifts  I would like to - mostly motorbike stuff which is not cheap.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

House update!!!

No7  - a fortuitous number or so I am told!! Had a look around today- very nice too- mid terrace so warm. Painted neutral colours so perfect to move into - leaving most of the carpets which I am happy with!

I will need to acquire wardrobes ( Freecycle) and probably need to purchase some outdoor storage or some sort for Weeny 's bike, lawn mower etc etc. I can take asll my pots etc etc for flowers so this weekend may begin re planting some of the shrubs in the garden.

Inside fine - though can't recall if there was a shower or not.... Oh well those silly things for the taps it is!! I can cope.

All in all won't need to do much to it straight away.  Though will see nearer the time.

Called the solicitor again... no news on moving. Will ring the estate agent and hassle again. Neither party has a house to sell/buy apart from the one in the middle if you know what I mean so no reason for the delay by my thinking - solicitors being slow and justifying their extortionate fees!

 Had a quiet strike day - made pasta with chorizo. B's mum makes it with a jar of dolmio. I don't do pasta sauces in jars. So passata it was with fried onion, peppers, lots of herbs and spices and garlic, chuck in pasta and the chopped chorizo - good to go!!!

The chorizo was only £1.89 for 200g in lidl.  29p pasatta sauce ( B does not do the texture of tomatoes)  a large on 8p, half a red, yellow and green pepper 40p,  half a bag of pasta 15p,  garlic bread 34p . So all in  about £3 odd  to make four good portions - 0.7875p  per portion used all of it - fed three of us - large meals as we skipped lunch and Weeny had her bit too and I have enough for a goodly lunch  tomorrow too.

My sister has sent a lovely advent calendar with 24 things to put in each of its pockets. Lots of necklaces, pressies, recycled stuff, some jewellery that mummy may steal also lol  We have put up a few christmassy but easy to take down things.

B off to London tomorrow till Sunday or possibly Monday morning to get settled in, sort out phone lines etc etc  Weeny is off to her other families after yet another birthday party on Sunday.   I shall have peace and quiet to get on with de cluttering, gardening, sorting etc etc.

No point in packing till I know when we are off!!!

Long term I will if I can afford it take an OU course in Feb which is also when I intend on going four days per week.  I hope to apply for the PGCE  in Durham  as well to start Sept 2012.   Not sure about podiatry - three years is a long time and the application should be in by January 15th.  GTTR is different.  

I shall apply for a transfer house wise - as Johnnie Johnson have houses in  Chester le Street much closer to the SCITT PGCE base in Newton Aycliffe.   (About 25 miles straight good roads much better than 70 mins and at least 120 mile round trip. ) I may even be able to get a career break from work for the PGCE - who knows???

We have put the reproduction thing to rest. Its not going to happen for us. Shame for B and Weeny both would adore another muchkin. But we will hardly see each other  bar weekends and I am 39 in a month.
So weeny will be an only weeny. Its a real shame.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Another week.....Solicitors....

I have a house! I can move in 19th December. I just need the soddin lawyer to get their act together. I shall hassle tomorrow!!!

Other than that good news the weekend was quietly busy lol.  After swimming and party weeny girl had a melt down of epic proportions so we did not go out for tea nor did we go to the Christmas lights.  Her punishment for the horrible behaviour trying to hit anyone who got in her way after not getting her way was no treats and time out.

I coached B in the art of making curry! just easy ones using makway sauce! He needs the practice.  One large chicken breast, a pepper, onion and some added spices and we were good to go! Dead easy and simple and he done good!!! 

Sundays dinner we went for chicken and bacon lasagne - with loads of veggies to pad it out some raw spinach and salad bits.  Made enough for the three of us and four meals to freeze. not bad for one chicken breast and six slices of bacon plus and the left over veggies - pepper, onion, sweetcorn, carrot, peas.

Was lazy tonight and we had sandwiches for tea and cheese on toast with some pepper and onion chopped and placed under the cheese for B.

Am pondering podiatry.... there is a course at \New College Durham and if I could get a house exchange before it starts and if they will have me on the course it may be a possibility..... I shall have to wait and see.

Something to investigate - on strike on Wednesday - day with the small one and Biggles who is on leave before his big job move!!!

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

and we are half way through the week....

House update
Both parties in sale would like to move by Christmas!!! This is good. 
Waiting on searches from management company - have received local council ones. The extra searches cost me £138 up front - OUCH OUCH OUCH

Looks promising for the social housing house.  Fingers crossed eh!

Not long till Biggles starts his London Job sniff sniff. Oh well best laid plans of mice and men and just because you really want something doesn't mean it is ever going to happen.... such is fate and life.

So no plans for Christmas yet - his family, mine.... London trip... who knows.

Work fine, have a day at our Agricultural and land based industries campus on Friday which is always nice.

Saturday we have swimming and then a birthday party. Sunday will depend on the weather. 

Oh and yet another party invite popped up! SO another present to find. Grrrr  oh well part and parcel of the small child thing.

made sausage rolls yesterday using yellow stickered puff pastry - 99p for two blocks - i only used one block. Was able to make 8 sausage rolls using 99p Walls pork sausages and also two pasties using cheese, ham red pepper and onion. Fed me, Biggles and Weeny and I have four left over for lunches.
Added some cheapie baked beans and we had a great retro tea.

Have eaten soup - form the freezer and defrosted some stewed plum which were lovely and the syrup was to die for..... keeps you regular am sure.

Ho Hum lets see how December goes????

Love ya  Eeek

PS found a Sheff Wed coaster and Mug for B from weeny for Christmas. he loves stuff like that. Can have them personalised as well. Jolly good things he can take into work for his new desk. He is an avid die hard fan bless him its a rocky road being an owl.

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Weekend!!! and the weeks happenins!

Update on the housing situation - I may have a housing association house with garden. I meet with the rep tomorrow to discuss however I am still waiting on a completion date and the searches to be returned for this place. Pooo! but we have plan b so that's ok.

Weeny girl is an Angel in her school Nativity. Looking forward to this one!  :-)))))

Quiet weekend so far and will be - we have Thai curry this evening made form the excess coconut milk that I freeze when making other Thai curry's - too much in a can for one dish so the excess is poured into little tubs to freeze.

Also when passing Asda I happened upon the reduced clothing ( children's line) and we purchased two new tops for £3 and one for £2 and a dress with pink polo neck for a fiver. Dress is away for Christmas. Sh ecan have the tops on her return from other families. She was crying this morning when I left her - I hate it.

B and I recycled my clothes bags ( TD clothing/enviro clothes)- was paid £26 quid for them so not bad. Paid for the days expenses.

I made Chili yesterday - enough for B and I to stuff ourselves on and two meals in the freezer for lunches etc etc I mix the excess with extra rice so its good to go on defrosting.   My chili is ace - even the Mexican food addict that is B agrees.

we have a pork shoulder for tomorrow. Only £3.42 and I will keep the excess for sweet and sour.

Doing the domestics tomorrow. Boss at work not adverse to the four day week idea but need to wait till new person is in post as one of my team is leaving to go travelling.

Ahh the weekend. B is here and he is working in his lap top waiting on Sheffield Wed game to be broadcast ( Radio) and then rugby on the TV. Bless keeps him happy.

His birthday soon - Lord knows what I will get him. Something small - we only do little gifts - or rather he likes little things that are very personal to him ( last present was a tiny enamel  sheff wed badge with a poppy- he was dead chuffed  -an ebay find)

Thinking caps on!

Sunday, 13 November 2011


 My rather attractive chap - sorry about the annotation but rules is rules.

Yes we are in a public convenience but had forgotton to get one of us together so had to improvise!

Biggles was dead smart!

 The service was lovely - Duke of Northumberland in tow, marching band, last stand played well adn the local old timers marched really well. Proud day all round for those in service, those who have been in service, and those we shall never forget. Love you Dad.

(I like Rememberance Day as a way to remember my Dad its nicer than this is the day you died of a horrible disease)

Well we made it  through and Weeny was very well behaved! She was very impressed by Biggles in his Number 1's and even saluted. Bless! Will post pics when I have anotated - can't show faces in uniform fraid!
We wore our second hand clobber with pride - me in a marks and spencer autograph grey suit, Weeny in her purple frock. All pre loved bar the shoes and knickers.

Also this weekend I made two large batches of soup - lentil and veg and chicken noodle. Mmmmmm

We were also bargainous over the weekend as well - got new cardy ( preloved ) and a Next denim skirt ( £3)  for weeny and a work top and black cardy pour moi for £3 also.

Superdrug are now making their own brand perm hair dye so have purchased to try. Only £3.50! me likey!

Tis the season for the bread maker me thinks - fresh home made bread goes so well with home made soup.

Off to watch some telly with A cuddley well behaved Weeny in our pyjamas already and under a blanket. Not long till we retire to bed.

Sleep well peeps

Friday, 11 November 2011

Remembrance day and the weekend. Am poppying with pride.

We cannot wait - we have alovely weekend ahead.. again.

Duckings, a haricut for weeny then a party for her by which time Biggles may have recovered from his officers mess do dah wotsit dining out night! He is leaving his job for the new one soon so gets dined out and a formal tarrah said! Lots of food and alcohol for free!!! He may surface around 2pm if we are lucky lol

On Sunday we have a remembrance day parade./service which we are going to all together poshed up. Biggles will be in Number 1's and Weeny is very excited. There is a parade of soldiers - she doesn't really distinguish between RAF and soldiers but gets that they all go to war adn do brave things. She is dead excited. there will be a helicopter fly by as well and the Duke of Northumberland makes an appearance.

We will be wearing our poppies with pride and remembering my Dad too. He was in the navy from 1939-1946. he dies when I was 13 so Weeny has never met him. She will inherit his naval stuff however and is kind of named after him - he was a James and  she is a Jessica and she has my surname in her name. Both J Westbrooks. Was the closest I could get with the ex.  We have his pictures up and old ones from WW2. bit of history for her.

I often wonder what my Dad would have made of Biggles. Firm handshakes and would probably straighten his shoulders a lot lol and would have loved the officers mess.  Would have loved to have taken him. He liked the old queeny and would have stood to attention with pride at the national anthem and toasts to the old girl and been very honoured to have been taken there by Biggles.  And any mention of Lord Mountbatten would have set him off! He met him many years ago and thought he was ace.

Hope he is smiling somewhere!

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Monkfish Jag Jul and other pillion tales

Curry was lovely - had a steaming hot Monkfish Jag Jul. Super hot so couln't finish it completely but ate all the fish!  Company excellent. Sunday we whizzed off to Jedburgh on B's bike.  Had a coffee at the Edinburgh  woollen Mill then came back across the Carter Bar border and past Kielder Reservoir.

Am very tired. B came for dinner and we are now plonked on sofa with weeny... need to attempt a bath............ and get ready for tomorrow. Super stiff from riding pillion!

Enjoy what's left of Sunday!!!

View from Carter Bar - Land of the Border Reivers!

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Date Night!

Hair cut, weeny at the other familiy this evening ( we think - unless she gets upset and wants to come home and other family can be arsed to bring her.. sigh) Biggles  has booked table at new curry house in town!  Tarted up! Even got the make up out Whoo hoo! Bit of a 60's style goth theme gannin on with smokey eyes - I like it, Biggles will shake head most probably lol.   A few beers in the John Bull - Old drinkers pub in  a residential side street that stocks 135 different Malt Whiskeys and very nice European Lagers and other ales. No music, just conversation, It smells a bit but  a proper pub none of this wine bar crap or trendy sofa style seating and lighting - PROPER PUB! Dart board. Stools. Crisps and pork scratchings behind bar! A few beers then a bit of marsala lol (no will be something more authentic me thinks!)  new restaurant owners also own a restaurant in South Shields Ocean road - also known as curry street. It is the best place to go for a curry in the North East.  So its very yummy!

Bought new to me trousers for work - Next Black £2. baragain - need to take them up however.

Follow the link

The buggers - the link changes to the entire gallery!  Poo. Anyway if you can be bothered to search we are at the top of page 16 I think in October 11.
Follow the link to me and Weeny in the paper!  Can't copy and paste unfortunately and the buggers make you pay for copies. Biggles has bought one for me though. Bless him.


Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Busy Busy

Weeny all good at school and new child care breakfast club. Sticking iwth the old one after nursery as they collect and stay open till six. Howeer I can drop off earlier get into work a bit earlier and get back a bit earlier- will see how this goes.

Council appt not too bad - once am prioirty can start bidding on houses in the area I want- no time scale.. how long is a piece of string!    Need to get letters from solicitors etc then I will be prioirty and can also apply to Housing associations who only advertise 50% of their stock on the homefinder council site.

 Had a few ebay hiccups - some cheeky people out there buying and paying for the price but not including postage and then asking me to send it to Eastern Europe but sell it for a lower price!!! I think not ! £12 is £12 and I only wanted £35 for  the item in total. ( RRP when new 89.00+)

Anyhoo other than that have a few more items to sell some clothes and bits and pieces any thing left over a friend and I will car boot. I still have to do Enviroclothes for extra pennies. I am going through linen and have a few items my sister and neice may like so I will hang on till  they have said yay or nay  and also gold to sel - Hatton garden metals me thinks as recommended by Hard Up Hester and martin money saver dude.

The crappy caravan Haven holiday has not offered any refunds only credit notes in my name only. No use to me ! Only site I wish to stay at is Caraig Tara in Ayrshire near my mum and I won't be going back there again. I shall argue the toss. Its £42.50 for one holiday and was £67 for the other.

Have alot of nervous energy at the moment.  Quite odd.

Still need to get Bonfire night sorted for weeny. We are having Fireworks and fajitas on Friday with a fire pit!  She is away on Saturday to the other place that has no name. I doubt she will want to stay over night but we shall see. Not sure what we shall burn - may make some paper Guy Fawkes with her tomorrow. Bit barbaric really for a three year old me think s but its a bit of history!

Halloween trick or treating was fine. We went around  the cul de sac - Neighbours don't mind too much and put up decorations if they are holding halloween. You don't knock if  no sign of halloween celebrations which I think is fair enough. A sort of code.

Halloween pictures out on Thursday so I wait with  baited breath!!!!

Keep well frugal peeps!!!!!!


Sunday, 30 October 2011

Jolly good day! life plans and such!

Good day had by all - met with good pals on two occaisions, weeny had excellent time dressing up as a witch - met little chums in the market square in Alnwick and went ont he spooky bus twice. Didn't win the  best witch and wizard competition but got a toffee apple anyway. She looked acce and has had her pic taken for the local rag - out on Thursday - will post pics as they are in the public domain anyway!  

Poor Biggles put his iphone clock back last night then the phone reset itself by a further hour. Big whoopsy. He is officer in charge this weekend so was late for work by 45 mins. Not good in the millitary.......ever. Am sure they will also take the proverbial big time however the invasion hasn't happen but still a big no no. He gets very stressed when this happpens - RAF is very important to him. He as a mill type does get stressed with things like this. Bless him. We were both up and pointed out the time to him by checking the telly then got out of the way as he went into hyperdrive finding keys - didn't even have time to drink his tea. I hate it when you are late puts you on a catch up for the rest of the day.

Chicken sundays dinner later - roast spuds, yorkshires, carrots and brocoli. And green fairy cakes with green icing and black spidery bits!  And a scary pumpkin to make.

I am anxious - weeny starts big school tomorrow ( nursery school she thinks its big school)  Early drop off with a new childcare provider. I shall hardly ever see her teacher unless the plan comes together..............

I have a plan involving social housing if I can get it.... I see the homelessness officer on Tuesday. If so may be able to reduce working hours to four days per week. I would really like to to do this so that I see more of Weeny who turns four in January before she begins first school and this wold also give me access to her teacher once a week- ideally Fridays! 

I can't afford it if I rent privately. If I rented privately I would be in a flat and thats a bit pants with a small child. She likes to play on her bike.

Also have Christmas practically in the bag!  Thanks to commerce of the ebay kind, the selling bags of old clothes kind and gold with some pennies left over.

Market square in Alnwick. The town I live in is rather nice.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

The weekend looms large..............

The weekend! Lots to do!

Biggles who is having a horrendous time at work - uber stress and me not being a happy bunny does not help. I don't give him too much of my crap but he knows how deep the shit is! He is not stupid. He is driven about work. Loves the queen and the raf!  ho hum.  Well he will be resident this weekend starting with tomorrow night. He is working all weekend keeping us safe and is also on call. Dashing hofficer that he is.. not!!! Yorkshire tyke more like!

Saturday we have swimming followed by a trip to Kingston Park tesco to meet ebay buyers and Auntie Gog- a dear old chum aka Georgia. We shall catch up and buy bread buns two cheap birthday party toys and some uniform for the first day at nursery school on Monday!  Then back to North northumberland to prer for out spooky night bus ride and witch competition. Biggles is joining us at this point after town we are back for a barbecue - last one in the house - unless it is pishing down!!! barbecue will be off on its journey to the tip/freecycle as I will not be taking it with me. Sigh - makes a great fire pit as well!

Sunday we have halloween crafts ! Pumpkin carving and the making of goblin cakes ( fairy cakes but in green with green and black icing and goblin poo - choc shavings to sprinke over the top/make into cobweb designs!

Missed out on the tickets for spooky tales at barter books - pity woudl have been  lovely.   http://www.barterbooks.co.uk/
   The old railway station is  home to Barter Books!

 Fabulous places to sit and peruse a book or twelve while you have a coffee and dogs are very welcome. Kids need to be kept under control howeverv :-)

Lots and lots of books - all second hand, collector editions,  general tat - its all there!

Shame - it really is worth a look if you are everNorth of Newcastle and a must if you like old books!

Should do more pics of where live - its rather stunning and has some cool nooks and crannies if you know where to go!

Meals for this weekend - (only really plan for when there are three of us- other wise weeny girl also known as Roo and I eat alot of sandwiches, chopped raw veg, beans , toast etc. Saves time and money. Weeny gets fed at nursery at about 4-4:30 so does not eat excessively in the evenings. Its more of a supper.)

Tuna and Cheese baked potatoes and salad
Burgers, buns salad
chicken sundays dinner on the cheap!

Lunches will be crumpets, beans on toast, cheese toasties with some salad veg and fruit.

Making fairy sorry goblin cakes on Sunday as mentioned - keep Biggles in snacks at work lol He is partial to a tiny little sponge in its own cake case with sugary icing and sweeties on top! lol  And you thought Weeny and I made them for fun!!!!  lol  She loves it! 

Enjoy Samhain - blessings be.  xxxxx Eeek

Weeny Super Brave!!!

Weeny had her pre school injections to day. She was well prepped in advance and had seen me having bloods taken. I am not squeamish . She was fascinated watching me. So when it was her turn to get two injections she was up for the challenge!!!  I didn't realise it was two in the leg one each! Twitched after the first one then was more twitchy for the second but no tears! Nurse was experienced and quick.

Smiley afterwards, looking for the blood spot - she had a tiny one in one leg so got to dab with a cotton wool ball.  Was very proud of my little toughy!!!

Bless her. I love her so much.

Happy pills started today. Waiting for them to take the edge off things. I have taken them before and hope they kick in soon.

Found it.... a good thing happens?? maybe more????

Found my ring today. old engagement ring from marriage years ago. nice - thought I had lost it. keeping it for weeny for inheritance jewellery type stuff. Turns out I was not as stupid as I thought I had been and had put it in a safe place after wearing it to a wedding do at the end of September. Found it and am chuffed.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

I caved...

Have a ddoctors appt tomorrow for happy tablets. I need them to focus and keep a lid on the anxiety. I will bite the bullet and admit it when one needs some chemical help. I am obsessing at night before bed if I am not watching telly to the small hours to avoid the obsessing that is , on fails- things I have failed to do. achieve etc etc I need to stop and focus and not care as much and I need some conjoured brain hormones to do it!

I also made an appointment to see the homelessness officer - next week see if I can get any help with a council house. I don't want to get rid of my old puss cats nor rent a rubbish flat from a slum lord.   Cheap housing will leave me with more money to pay off my debts and also  start to save and be nicer for weeny girl. Someoutside space would be nice. Not alot but a wee bit.

Ebaying still - some folk are strange. Have two items of furniture  that have been sold to highest bidder.. Collection in person stipulated on advert.  One has ignored me so I may give her a day and then relist. Another asked me to deliver as she claims her car is not big enough for items.  I was taking them half way to work and do not have time to drop off at random address's. made this clear to buyer- not at lunch time or after work and not at the weekend. 

One large item - the buggy I am taking half way as I want to go to tesco's and have combined it with meeting another buyer. So all in not a bad trip and justified by the £45 I will get. The other cheeky can sod off. Next time I shall be strict about collection/COD and state in big letters on the advert - no paypal no sale no collection no sale.  Some folks are just rude.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Good Peeps in the big bad world

 Unbeknown to me I dropped my phone. A lovely lady handed it in to the RSPCA shop. I was greeted at work by the receptionist anouncing that a friend had been on the phone to let her know that I had dropped my phone but all was well. Ahhhh  How nice. I was shocked adn surprised and very very glad!!!  I have the persons number and will be texting my thank yous.

Also using hte turn to us benefits checker if I rent privately I may be entitled to Housing benefit.  if this is right then this is good and very helpful. I could even look to reduce hours to 30 per week- not much differencce in money but hte quality time would be fantastic.My quandry is weeny girl. I do not want to move her to a new school then look to move her again as wherever I go I do not think I shall stay forever. Story not over yet I hope..... 

I need to check out the position re HB incase the website is wrong.  I have sources and maybe they can verify my calculations. I find CAB nortorioulsy crap at helping out with these things so will use other sources.

I can always pick up some extra work here and there given that there is a facility for  book by the week/day child care for 3yr+  Which is where she will be going in September 2012 after her wonderful though expensive day care nursery ends.

It will be less stressful moving her only when I have a definite plan re where to go and what to do.

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Am considering rentals in the Morpeth or Whitley Bay area. Both are cloer to work adn not horrendous areas. Not where I woudl choose to live but I don't have choice. I have options and pro and cons to be weighed up.

I need to source decent child care as well this is the bigger worry for me. It is such a major part of Weeny girls life that it needs to be good and she needs to be happy.

Other than thaqt I am really tired. I am not sleeping at the moment. I am still coming to terms with not have anything at all even a thousand pounds form the house sale and being left having to find two thousand pounds and having nothing to show for it debt.

I worry about  not being able to save for a new car - mine is 7 years old and I need a plan. I worry about my pension the fact that I only started it at 30 and do not earn a great deal to make it particularly comforrtable retirement.

I worry about house deposits - never having another one.  no investment no financial freedom unles I scrounge

Retraining not retraining - such a risk and realistically could I afford it or the time.

My epic family fail - a sibling for weeny would have been lovely for her. She asks as other mothers are reproducing at nursery.  Bless her lonesome. Some one to whinge about me to when she is older who understands where she is coming from.

Dragging weeny from home to home - this is her third home in so many years. whereever I move to will not be to settle. I don't know where the story ends anymore.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Foul mood !

In a foul one despite trying to cheer myself up with some charity shopping.

Was very short with B who is now listening to football in the kitchen. Am still having ups and downs about my finances and how I will br left with less than nothing, having to move to rented accomm probably in an area that is not pleasant  for weeny to grow up  but we will have to move there just because it is cheaper/closer to work. 

Financially I am in more debt than I have been since I 'grew 'up ( late twenties when I stopped being a pratt with money). I feel it is unlikely that I will ever own another house or be able to pay off  a mortgage or have  a decent pension plan. So many things seem so so far away now. Retraining is out. I couldn't afford to move or will I have debt apid off by September 2012.  retraining will incurr debt too. I will be nearly 41 by the time I finish in 2013 and will have a financial mountain to climb.  

So all the opportunities I wanted to provide for my child are off the list. A roof over her head is probably the most I can do. Can't even give her quality time..... bless she will only ever have five weeks a year with me other weeks approx 3hrs per day.  Spoke to a woman at work who was explaining how good her daughter was at letting her self in to the house when she gets home from school. Her daughter is 11. I would liket o be able to do phonics with my daughter but by the time she gets back form day care she is too tired. Swimming, dancing in face anything during the week are all out.

The bti I hate the most is n being stuck. I am a doer. If I don't like something I change it or change me or make compromises. I have nothing to compromise on - I have no choices.  And the pill is bitter.

Brighter note - bargains had - denim jacket and tiger lilly top for weeny - for 3.47 all in. Me _ very funky spotty, flowery purple, red, yellow - sounds mad and it is - smock top type thing for 4.

Off to drool over houses that I shall never afford.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Heating fail!!!

No not the actual heating but the fact that it was put on . The Biggles came in with the weeny one before me and felt cold so the heating went on. It is off now so only about three hours damage done.  It will be on again tomorrow for a little bit as the B doesn't like the cold  and will be on again over the weekend most likely. Oh well at least I wasnt the guilty one!

Weeny and he had fish and chips. they will be eating pizza tomorrow night with garlic bread as I have a late night - do the job till its done night at work.

I had a cheese sandwich and some banana cake for tea. Suits me can't beat bread and cheese.

Night all a warmed up bed is a calling.

PS Sold a few more bits on Ebay - another thirty quid!  Not bad eh! So about sixty in total so far. May be squeeze about 100 in the end. With enviro clothes, gold sale and vouchers Weeny has a christmas! B doing all the grub which is lovely of him. I am rejecting all presents bar for weeny and shall refuse to open them if he does buy any. He has been warned. I am not buying a bean for anyone bar the weeny. Hmph! SO there.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr Cold!! and how much do I hate Liz Jones!

Wrapped up - in bed with the walking talking hot water bottle. Austerity measures and body heat is free.  Shopped for £26 today. Got a few bargains - best being two breaded plaice fillets for 29p! In the freezer - I like yellow stickers.

I built up the cot and the crib to check that I had all the bolts - easier than I thought as bolts were all mixed up - another job done, Ebay parcel sent off.

over all reasonalbly productive.

Heard that one of the biggest employers in the county Alcan Rio Tinto who employ 650 people are hot footing to cheaper climes.   Rio Tinto - power station and aluminium smelting works.  Power station may have a buyer but not the smelter. Thats alot of people and a lot of breadwinners who will be out of a job imminently. Basically yes we still need aluminium but its not profitable enough to make in this country due to the environmental regulations so Rio Tinto is hot footing it to somewhere cheaper to make just as much pollution but not make amends for it. Its just not profitable enough!  Profit profit! Who does this keep in quails eggs and caviiar??? Not the smelters or engineers who work on the shop floor. Their wages keep food in mouths and roofs over heads.  Greed and profit don't ys just love big business????? Bugger the environment and sod the  little people- rich shareholders who want another holiday villa/chateau  rule. So many families effected and where will they get jobs for the same salary????   Not locally thats for sure.

Liz sodding Jones ala Daily Mail - she generally annoys me and I find her whinny self indulgent  vacuous and I have an urge to throw cow dung at her. What is the point of this women???  Thank God she stays within the confines of the Daily Mail and only ventures out on to our screens/other papers sporadically.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Broke my ebay cherry as a seller!

Am finally with the programme adb have made £28 already - am liking this muchly!  I wait with baited breath to see what follows.....

Will car boot if they do not sell with a few other things but hopefully....

B and I got a bit sad about the selling of the baby equipment but we know its a shot inthe dark and I cannot afford to store or move them with me on the off chance. Its all good stuff- some thingswhen I had money I didn't scrimp on,  thinking they would get much use and at least a second outing oh well.

We are ok and waiting and seeing how the long distance and the move thing works out.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

One of the days activities - the one we will be going to!!!

Saturday 29th Event in Market Place 6pm - 8pm ( cut and pasted)
Best Witch Competition in Market Place
Toffee Apples, Roast Chestnuts, Roast Sand-Witches! Hot Dogs (or Cats!!) Hot Doughnuts.
Ghost Walks for families and later for adults.... - "click for details" ( this is pricey so will not indulge)
Ghost Bus - Saturday to do tours around the town pick up next to Market Place 5.30pm - 6pm, 6.30pm, 7pm, 7.30pm. (Times and fares to be confirmed)
Craft Fair all day in Northumberland Hall between 10.30am and 5.30pm

Barter Books - Saturday 4.30pm to 5.30pm Spooky Stories for under 10yr's. Tickets only, (free!) available from Barter Books Tel. 01665 604888 website

Not a bad journey to drop off Weeny when I pass this every day just the rest of the A1 that stinks!

Mid October!

Spent the day after swimming sorting through cupboards - we have the enviro clothes pile, the car boot pile and the eBay pile.  I have also looked out gold to sell.

I have given Weeny's cot to a friend I could have sold it but it meant alot to me so I gave it to someone who would appreciate it.

I have £15 in survey  vouchers put to one side.  Hopefully these  combined with the selling endeavours should cover Christmas for weeny girl. I shall not be purchasing anything other than for weeny for Christmas. I shall not be sending cards or presents to anyone. Tough boobies! Others should understand that there will be no coffers left over after moving and I will not do unnecessary debt.

Putting hopes and dreams to rest and its ok..... Not just the financial ones but the personal also. Clearing out stuff like cots today was not as bad as I thought it would be. Time is up for me. Weeny is my only focus now.


We looked out our ghosty stuff. Alnwick has some activities on over Halloween weekend - spooky bus rides on an old dreadnought bus around the town, t(he castle and town can be rather spooky), stories in Barter Books - a massive second hand book shop in the old disused station and a competition for best witch and wizard in the market square. We had a trial run to day with the outfits which inspired weeny to watch Shrek 3 ( has lots of witches in it) and Harry Potter 1.  She wanted to sleep in her witch outfit.. ahhhhh bless.  All the activities we are doing are free btw which is ace.

We had curry - homemade and left enough to freeze for mummy's lunch next week. The thermostat is showing 16.5 degrees,Heating is set for 15 which I think is a little high.  Only when it drops below 13 degrees do I feel can I justify heating. Both of us manage fine with blankets and cardies at the moment.

We also harvested our paltry carrot crop  - rubbish but fun to exhume!!

Biggles doing a 22 mile walk with some military buddies  dressed as a woman,  all for charity. He will spend the weekend very very inebriated. Been a bit distant from B recently. Am finding it difficult to see a future... maybe this will pass.  I just do not  see a time when we can be together or when I will have the funds to be able to visit him. He will be away for minimum of two years then who knows where. I need to make my debt a priority then look at ways to become more financially secure for weeny..... I don't see how 'we' him and I fit into each others life plan anymore long term. Sigh hopefully this will pass. Weeny adores him. She will miss him terribly when he goes to London and I really don't know how I would handle it with her if he was not going to be part of our lives anymore.

Not making decisions just struggling with 'us' at the moment, what that means given me being absolutely totally 100% broke for the foreseeable future.  He knows something is up - I turned down the walk today( civvies allowed)  and also  have made excuses about him staying over when he normally would have. Needed some thinking time.

Que ser whatsits eh!

Friday, 14 October 2011

So they came back with 86k. I am taking it an drunning. Will still accrue debt to the tune of approx 2k. It may get worse and I cannot take that risk. At least I can leave with my credit rating intact and the possibility of another mortgage in the  future..... probably not but hey whats wrong with housing association????

Well some of them.....

I am downabout the loss of money and time with weeny girl. I coudl have opted for part time work and mothered her full time rather than three hours a day which is the approx amount of time I spend with her each work day.

I have put most of my goals away accepting that they are not I to be. Not as if I wanted to clinb everest like.....house owning of some sort, re training, more than one weeny, financial investment and security etc etc

I can do nothing till I clear the extra debt I shall accrue from selling and moving, solicitors, short fall etc etc. 

We are swimming tomorrow morning then I have a plumber making an appearance to remove taps and sillicone the bath - no more weeny girl overflows or splashes and the downstairs ceiling should hold till I sell.

I have a survey of the house on 24th = am hoping it does not show any faults or bring the price down at all.

I have completed my social housing applications and hope these turn up something soon. renting privately is not great and expensive. I may enquire about any empty houses on the college agricultural site estate.

Am clearing out clutter tomorrow as well - what is to be sold, booted, ebayed etc, enviroclothes.....  Shoudl have quite a bit to get rid of.


Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Have extended the mortgage till I am 75... sigh. reduced mortgage payments by 80 so that helps a bit. Will change estate agents and remarket on 13th December. Maybe buyers will stick around.

Who knows.............. in the meantime its frugal frugal. I already feed and clothe us both for 160 pcm.

I think bugger it - will work term time when I move into social housing. Oneday willhappen at least then I can look after weeny girl properly rather than chuck her out to daycare. Thats the annoying bit - the lost time all for nothing, no security no investment, no option of starting again.

heating - have not had th eheating on so far and plan to keep going as long as possible. blankets it is!!1

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

coming to terms with the fact I am in the financial mire and shall never recover.

Doing my sums - looking at rentals, social housing etc etc  Reason being .. I have had an offer eon the house. 84k.  The estate agent is aware the least I can take without being left with debt is 86763.90. This means I will still have to pay for my moving costs/solicitors. Hey when you are out of pocket by 15k then its small fry.

I cannot take 84k. I wil lthen owe the best part of 3k on top of my other debts.

I wait with baited breath - I can do £86  just. adding to my deficit by 763.90. Estate agent are shite - they know my limits and are encouraging me to take the 85k ( increased by 1kby vendors)

I shall never have another property - no deposit. All gone. I will not be able to return to uni to retrain - no money. I will not be able to consider term time working - minimal mothering.

Great eh ! Applying for housing associations and the council just in case they decide to take the 86k

Debt - great!  I thought you were supposed to  have something to show for your excesses. If I did it would be a sweeter taste left after the bitter pill.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Well the second time viewers had an offer accepted on another ouse so they didn't come for their viewing.
My house sale has dropped to 80k to try to stimulate some interest. This is 18k under what I paid. I need at least 88k to pay estate agent and mortgage. I would then still have to pay for a solicitor. I would be free but would have nothing.

I am not hopeful of anything happening anytime soon. The nights are drawing in. Christmas is only two pay checks away for folk who are paid at the end of the month.

I need to contact the mortgage company to ask them to allow me to start making interest only payments again.   They are sending a form.

Even then who knows how long I can manage for?? Any unexpected  bills and I am buggered,

I hate my job. It is rapidly becomming clear that we are under stafffed and the tasks we have been given is ridiculous. Compared to to other colleges we have a ridiculous amount of work to do with a tiny team.

I hate the hours away from weeny girl - I have missed her babyhood, toddlerhood. This is time lost I shall never get back and everyday more slips away from me. She begins proper school next September.

The payoff for working and missing this was investing money in a house becomming more finanically secure before I could reduce my hours to term time. I am on reflection upset and angry very angry about this. Its losing the time with her  that I am really angry at.  I could have stayed in rented accomodation  and had more time with her.  More time with my daughter. My only daughter.

My petrol costs are crippling. I spend more on petrol than I do on food.

No money, no security and I have lost the most precious time of all.

I feel as if I am waiting to sink. My disposeable income after everything is £6. Some bills - car insurance, utilities all increased, petrol has increased. I pay more council tax now that I am working full time again. I owe more money to friends and on a credit card than I have ever done before - 5k approx. No interest on any of it at the moment. I have 17 months to pay the credit card. I can reduce B 's repayment but would prefer not to.

I need to focus on what I can do however the motivation to tart the house up for it to be sold at a much lower price - making a significant loss - is nil. I have no money to replace carpets, do DIY.

My windscreen has a crack in it and this is another £60 to replace. ( Excess).

Biggles moves to London for work in  8 1/2 weeks.  Will really miss him. Its great just knowing for example that there is someone there for  weeny if my car breaks down.  He can usually help but London is a bit far away. Will see him most weekends but thats not the same.

Thursday, 29 September 2011


bit late but will update you as to how the cheapie caravan break went. Bloody awful. Booked and in terms and conditions they disclaim that they cannot guarantee that you will nto get a room that has not been smoked in. Fair dos - a few fags, a bit of an airing sorted.

Nope - the gulag we got stank of smoke 0 was fetid. I complained  as there were no  non smoking signs hence tabbers/ faggers/ smokers will smoke as there are no signs!!! or is it noted in the literature that you receive or  in the non existent welcome pack.

The apartment was smelly and shabby beyond belief. no cover on the mattress. The door frame was giving way - so I was worried about security for my self and small girl. It was also dirty. There was black grime in the corners of the room and along the skirting board - I checked a few shelves and it was filthy. The carpet had not been hoovered- I took pictures of leaves, crumbs, mud on the sofa.

We didn't arrive till late so had to stay on enight before I asked to be either moved or the apartment thoroughly cleaned. I can cope with shabby if it is clean! The smell of strong disinfectant/bleach would get rid of some of the stale smoke smell. The apartment was not cleaned . And by the time I returned there was nothing I could do - reception/customer services had gone home. I did not stay . I left and checked into alternative accomodation. ( night 2). I went back to reception  the following day and was advised that the apartment had been cleaned - It had not . I took pictures of the same spots and looked for the same evidence every time No clean - or not a very thorough one at all. There were tab dumps -fag butts outside of the window and there were many fag butts.   they said they could not guarantee I would have a less smelly room if they changed apartments.  I left.

Am sorry but plenty of other caravan parks can guarantee non smoking accomodation. What about smoke detectors???  signs???? Smoking shelters outside??? Bins for ciggarette ends seven paces form the apartments??? Fo gods sake HAVEN move with the times.

I have another break booked for March. I will be seeking a full refund for both.
So I am complaining - loudly to head office, the park

More recently  My mum has not been well and was admitted to hospital ( She is in a care home and has advanced dementia and alzheimers) I made a mercy dash but there is little I can do. I spoke to doc  as I am POA but the others who live closer have taken over now. Its awful and tragic and horrible and foul disease and I pray for her to be taken painlessly, peacefully and for her to have the serenity and  dignity of a calm passing. She gets so very agitated sometimes. She has no quality of life, is unable to recognise anyone, take part in anything, eat solid tasty food or attain happiness or joy from anything. She is doubly incontinent, unable to walk, she is contracted and stiff and to move her is difficult and causes her pain and discomfort and fear.

My car insurance is due  - quote £904!!! I think not - will be shopping around. 
I need a utilites deal however am not sure about the hassle of changing and paying off bills and starting again.  Hmmm Now is the time  to do it most likely as I should be in credit from summer.

Second house viewing - same couple.  Fingers crossed.

Sunday, 25 September 2011

The plan to utilize biggles house when he is in London is knackered. he will get less of an allowance to return to see me if classed as it not being his home. If it is classed as his home I lose child benefit and child tax credit which covers child care. Bugger and drat. need to rethink yet again. I was hoping to recoup some losses having nil rent. May have to rent for a while while job searching etc etc  etc. Makes sense to rent closer to work but in a nice area with nice schools. Also means weeny will have double upheaval then more upheaval. We need to have a long think about it. Really don't want to get married again. The whole thought leaves me cold- I really do not like weddings and was crap at marriage.

Boo boo and tits and booo! Hey am probably worrrying over nowt as house prob won't sell ... Viewing went ok. We shall have to wait and see.

Saturday, 24 September 2011


PLodding on..... I have a house viewing tomorrow which is an excellent development however given that the house is on the market for 88k ten grand under the price I paid I do  feel some resentment.... just as I do when I have to clean and tidy and do DIY jobs in order to try to achieve a sale. I will walk away with out debt but with nothing, no nest egg, savings or anything to show for the time spent here. My motivation is low and the resentment at having to get up early to clean floors and make my cheapo priced house more attractive to buyers is great.  I am very very grumpy but praying for a sale.....

Still no further forward on where I will go to. Work going fine, Supposed to be going to Scotland next week but ....... finances, issues etc etc etc 

Work is fine p still too far away and under paid but the actual job itself is challenging, varried and I seem to be doing ok and getting things done  my staff seem happy and working well too so fingers crossed.  But long term its not on balance with other things enough for me to stay around for even if I did live closer to  work..... sigh!

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Haven't managed to do the gas bill yet. difficult to get an enthusiasm for anything at the moment. apart from stuff with weeny but even that is difficult sometimes.

I kind of caved with the ex. He came to the pool to collect her. She was tired as had had a bad night with her eczema and rubbing her eyes after touching the cat - never good makes her eyes swell up. . She wasn't happy and given the crap of the past few weeks it was to be expected. Anyway  encouraged her to go with the provision that if she would not settle then ring me and I will get her. It happened he called, I went. I used the opportunity to speak civilly with ex -  GF not to be seen was at work. HE rang as agreed. fair dues. He does this and puts her first that's fine. Agreed to return to simply one night a weekend. he knows how demanding Weeny can be - at 3/4 they still need a lot of input especially when they are on their own. Older kids just not the same to play with.

We will go back to that. He doesn't want to do the early morning swimming for the sake of a quiet life till I move i will drop off after swimming.  We agreed it with provision that if I have to go away and its his weekend may consider doing full weekends as a one of case by case basis but that he doesn't have to do swimming lessons. He is a lazy tosser.

I really need to move soon. This house needs to go for whatever I get as long as I have no debt I shall be happy.

Am thinking Scotland would be best for Weeny due to family. Not great for me and work opp's or  B for commuting to where ever at weekends.

I really don't know how much longer I can last financially or otherwise doing this. Too much stress. I need to be settled somewhere. For good. With for good in mind Scotland makes more sense.

I want come calm some equilibrium back. inner calm to know where I am going in life physically and spiritually.

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Gas estimate!

ha I gave a gas reading a while ago when I was supposed to be registered for dual fuel. I am not. I received a bill today - estimated. Gas estimation: 000058. Actual 00008. Ha - I do not own the forty odd quid they want/estimated my use as.

Shall rig them tomorrow with my tiny reading and an elec one. Use minimal utilities. heating will only come on if it goes below 15degrees. We are jumper wearers and go to bed early- all together to save money and watch TV in bed! Its cosy! You use one room at a time - go figure!

I shall investigate price deals as well. Any recommendations?

Other than that have not heard from twat creature regarding access and picking up at the weekend. If I have not heard by 9am Sat I am off to visit my sister. I shall purchase cheap petrol and drive to Stirlingshire ( Scotchlanders)

We spent an hour at the beach today. It was lovely - the sea had breakers and the tide was coming in . I am teaching weeny to have mucho respect for the sea. We created a beach art octopus from shells and seaweed and beach detritus!  Explored sand dunes, hunted for a bear and found a rabbit hole. Making the best of the light still available in the evenings. Though with a torch it would be really exciting trip!!  methinks - in good weather of course sans wind being the main priority!

I hope he does not get in touch and plays arse wipe stubborn git I am not picking up my daughter as its a responsibility that should be shared. Yeah and all the others like wiping of brows, taking time off work when ill, taking on holiday, broadening horizons, swimming etc thats all my responsibility. Fecker that he is.

Options for the future on sale of brick and mortar

1. Move to scotchland - closer to family but difficult for B to get home at weekends, less work for me in the area - they have funny systems in scotchland and are a bit picky
2. Move to Sheffield - closer to family, easier for B, central, more work available for me
3. London - hmmm not sure it would be very temporary ( 1 yr) though not a bad thing, but by the time we got there it would be time to move again and would necessitate doing marriage paperwork which neither of us want to do again - we are happy without it and don't want to spoil things but B's job dictates.... Grrrr Australian RAF are much more forward thinking!NO need for paperwork!
4. County Durham - PGCE course - optional not guaranteed, one friend and her husband in the vicinity.

Maybe buy a house in Sheffield - rent it out, live at B's till I move to County Durham for PGCE and rent there....... not at all the first option, the one we really want but we have to be practical and what we want may not happen ever not so far anyway so as an alternative what do we do......especially thinking about family., finances, Weeny...................

Hey ho - fingers crossed arse wipe doesn't bother ........ I hope so much he doesn't bother though that's not nice for weeny. I have churning just thinking about him. Errr YUK


Monday, 12 September 2011

So far..... and its gets.....

better/worse  dunno yet.

Weeny - Due to have contact with the toilet paper that poses as a father this weekend if he can collect her and drop her back. I am resolute that I shall not do it. I ohysically could not make the journey knowing that I am to hand my child over- the most precious in my world!

I have agreed to do mediation and also seen a solicitor.

He is revolting and makes me want to vomit. I have a meeting in October with a mediator, then we have mediation at some point after that. Whatever really. House sells he will not bother his backside if I am far enough away.

Doctors went ok - I have clomid for next cycle and the one after that  then its London Calling for B  and the MOD opposite the  London Eye. Test results good  - well better than previous and FSH 5.9 not bad for nearly 39 and past it lol.

Looking forward to weekends in London - Weeny and I that is. B be home most weekends. Will mothball his place and live here as he will be technically living in London.

House please please sell - I don't care how much - just leave me free to move and start again away from here.

I could be really really happy but its just out of my reach......... all the elements are there...... who knows....

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Weather changed plans

No scarecrows as the weather was awful! Weeny stayed in and player with the little girls form next door - they had a great time. Even went all of 30 50 yards to the park on their own. ( The oldest girl is 6 nearly 7 and the park is so so close and at the back of married quarters so  pretty safe - no one has reason to go onto thte estate unless they are visiting - no throughfare.

We will do scarecrows tomorrow.

Weeny doesnt want to go to  his next week.  We have talked about it. I have gently questioned. she has been upset by last weeks goings on. He really needs to sort this out. He should talk to weeeny about it and his troll beast needs to explain as well and not slag me off in the process as this will not help my poor little one to feel better and understand. he needs to listen t her when she wants to come home and not try to coahc her or cajole her into anything. I am still angry about it but am much more rational now. Never told weeny what was mean't by the 'naughty things' that were said. Thought better of it - no need for her to know.

We wil find out on Thursday whether we should keep on trying to procreate. Have had the gammut of tests so truth will out. Poor B. I am not hopeful . I reckon I am past it.

Loooong weekend...

Swimming = £78!!! Oh well she is worth it and the skills she will learn are valuable and will last a lifetime.

Flat tyre - have called  roadside assistance to change it- might as well I pay for it and never use it! Will have to buy a new sodding tyre however. grump grump grump!!!!

Off to scarecrow festival. I will take juice but will indulge in cake and sausage rolls - home made and reasonably priced and to support he village green/hall etc etc Need to purchase a cup of tea at least. Only fair the villagers put in so much effort.

Tomorrow - will be a house day - lots to organise for next week. We are out and about on Tuesday doing bits and bob.

Friday Weeny and I  went to Durham to see chums and to scope it out as a possible place to move to /invest in if as and when I sell this house. Sigh.... potential- cheap, greenish not as pretty as northumberland but not bad at all.

Also we had our hospital appt -and are seeing consultant on 1st September see what we have to play with in the breeding department. Can help us make decisions re houses, money, careers etc etc  we have to much happening at the same time.

 Mediation request sent out. My gut churns every time I think about next weekend......any contact/conflict with the drongo ex and the she drongo and feel like pants. Weeny not that bothered so far and has not used the d word at all.

When have talked she is still not happy that I didn't come and get her like I promised I would.

See what happens.....

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Saturday morning swimming lessons!!

Weeny will be a duckling! Saturday morning slot is now free!!! I am so looking forward to it!!! Only half an hour between 8:30 - 9am but should be great. She loves the water. Got a call out of the blue from the leisure centre. Ok so its another early rise but well well worth it.

We sort out dates and payment next week.  not cheap but worth it!

Away to Durham for the evening tomorrow with weeny. B is working this weekend :-(. All sodding weekend.  We have a hospital appointment tomorrow but a bit pointless really given the house situation and that his new posting starts in December.

Sigh enjoy whilst we can.

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Semper in excremento sum, solum profunditas mutat!

Always in the shit only the depth varies!

Mediation referral in!
Cheque from Scottish power received.

Weeny got docs tomorrow. Also need to bite the bullet and get her name down for a nursery school me thinks. Want her to start asap prob too late for September now.  Won't be the RC school that I really want due to lack of child care  for after school. 

House dropped with old estate agent- might as well get the best out of them. Other agents are positive-  checked out a third agent re price and that should drum up interest.

Can only wait and see.

Need to get on with electrical stuff and decorating. before carpet dude on Tuesday. I may not make camping again with Weeny this year. Oh well we have a caravan week in September.

Bank hols-  we are off to the scarecrow festival in Rennington.  We catch a dreadnaught vintage bus - the scarecrow express to Rennington. This means driving to Alnwick to leave the car to catch the bus to a village only a few miles away from where we live.  Weeny loves the bus, or trains - haven't tried trams yet next time we are in Sheffield.

I like the latin quote it sums up my year.- nearly a year since made redundant and the shit really hit the fan.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Mind change

Will revert back to once a fortnight on a saturday till sunday - same old and do as always did with proviso of mediation. Also will not be dropping off - will meet half way prob Warkworth by the ducks. Still doing mediation and moving as soon as possible.


Am going to offer mediation to the Sperm Donor.

I am happy for weeny to:

1. Stay alternate full weekends with the proviso of flexibility if  she has special play dates, parties etc etc particularly if he happens to be working or attending a special function and her sister is not there. I count a derby football match as ok many would not but I get how important it is to him and others who are football fans. A cup game unless it was a final or semi would not count. i am happy to be flexible on date changes or reductions for what ever reason. Doesn't have to be one for me. I am a mother.

2. Weekday contact - have always been happy for this but he has said no. She is in child care till 6pm everynight. he could pick her up anytime and I can collect her. if would also solve the after school activities thing - he could take her to swimming lessons. Most dads would be happy to watch their child learn to swim.

3. I also want the open critiscism of me ( and Biggles)  in front of the chidren to stop. The girlfriend's son hears it and tells Weeny that his mum and Sperm Donor are saying naughty things about me and B. This MUST STOP. We do not and never have done this. B is an expert in this having had step parents and not having contact with his father and going through a messy divorce as a child and has insight. He is very stong on what not to do and also his role in weeny's life. He is very secure in that he has a special relationshp with her that is their own- not mine, not sperm donors but theirs.

I will offer contact in a neutral place - soft play. I am happy to leave them for an hour or more for one to one contact and her sister is invited of course . I will FB message sisters mum  to see if they want to meet up but I know this may get her into trouble and annoy him so may not happen.

Bless B . He is just lovely. After my estate agent fees and issues he posted a cheque through my door for £300 to be added to the interest free loan. I cried. I am very lucky.

Got a good progesterone level - okish 54???  So will take that to specialist on Friday .

Feeling much happier after rant and more in control.  House hopefully will sell asap and new chapters can begin. If this happens  and I move to an hours drive away will still accomodate contact of some sort some how.

Also made contact with my sister. We fell out a while ago and probably will never be the same but life is too short and her fab daughter got ace GCSE results - IGCSE's come out earlier than normal GCSE's as they are international!  All A's and A stars except the B for Malay 1 mark from an A and a C grade for Additonal maths which was very theory maths and was an extra IGCSE.

Monday, 22 August 2011

Just annoyed now...

Feather spitting, gurning, hand wringing, fist punching, door slamming anger has subsided. I rang CAFCASS to see where we are at legally - that meaning Weeny and I. Was very positive. Am not doing the next weekend due to happenings and also that when I have asked weeny a few questions I am getting answers I am not happy with. I will suggest mediation but I cannot pay for it. £80 a session. I cannot afford that at all. Times are desperate.After which I will happily do court. I have always had my suspicions that the other family pass derogatory comments about Me and Biggles. Weeny;s  responses  also suggesting that this happens.

Dropped house price to 90k offers in the region of!! I have kissed away 8k pretty much. Oh well as long as we move and sette d then ......

Sunday, 21 August 2011

I hate women!

Grrr Another thing to add to the list!! Well some women- the type that stick their noses in where it is not needed. The SD has a girlfriend - has hadd one for a while. Not a problem till she starts making demands re access. Sperm Donor never that bothered before he had little miss house frau to keep his kids amused. Used to drop them off at his mothers. now that there are two old harridiens wanting her time things have changed.

This weekend.  Weeny Girl was asked  on a play date. As it was the Sunderland Newcastle Derby I  suggested taht she not go for the full weekend only Saturday. HE would not be their anyway. He bleated on and I talked her out of it and into wanting to go to his.  Felt bad as I thought her sister would be there. Anyway turns out she wasn't and was on  holiday. I felt a little agggreived by this. Asked who was looking after her. No reply. Anyway got very annoyed.  Sent some accusatory and insulting text messages. No reply went to pick her up. The girlfriend stuck herr nose in and threatened solicitors etc etc as 'everything seems to happen on her weekend' Err no parties and invites just happen. Anyway after being threatened will not be taking weeny back till he comes round here and we discuss things.  She is not threatening me again or judging my parenting.

Just not going to happen. Sorry to be a bitch but will fill up weeny's time with exciting things and playdates on purpose now.

He never bothered before she turned up and that suited me. If he was parenting fine but this is driven by her and I outrank her when  it is his weekend and he is not available as he has work or a season ticket or social event. I work all week and leave her mon- fri = 8am - 6pm. Time is precious and the girlfriend can take her place at the back of the queue.

Not happening again.  What should I say to weeny if she asks why??? I am split between tempered honesty and just putting it off and saying he is on a long holiday?? How about the temered honesty - Lorraine doesn't like mummy and its best that we don't see each other.  Daddy loves you vey much though he can't see you at the moment.  One day he will come and play with you at your house??? Dunno it really doesn't sit well not letting her see her Dad.

They can do solicitors - I can't get one can't afford it. He will as he is seelf employed and will cook the books and get legal aid. I have been told just to ignore most of it- speak to caffcass when needed. Court not an option as I cannot get a babysitter or cannot get  the time off work.

She will do it I get that feeling. 

am going to pay up tomorrow and get house on market with alternative solicitors. Have had enough - bloody bitch - go have her own baby with him. FFS!