Update! Self indulgent whiny me - backside kicked ...... a bit!

Thanks for the replies ladies !!! Have given self a bit of a talking to and tutted at self,  stared in mirror and have given myself knowing looks and head shakes.


A small silver lining - I only have to pay for the speed course - £85-  not the fine as well.  I have to wait to get a number  from Cumbria constabulary then book my speed course so payment is not all at once. Paid the mechanic the £140.

We have an NHS appointment. I don't think they are as thorough as private as quickly but its something. As of November we  have the being in the same area  for longer than a weekend issue  House needs to go byeees for so so many reasons.

I have a date for my central heating - 10/11th August. Additional radiator for the bathroom which should help with the mould on the ceiling from condensation will cost £300. In fact would this help or would a fan type thing be better????

I am seeing a new estate agent 17th Aug. They are not local but a national company called Sell Quick - we'll see what they say. I am not convinced at all by estate agents not at all.

Weeny girl's dad wants her for full weekends. Friday and Saturday night starting this weekend. B and I will spend some time together Sat Night. We are going to Sheffield. It is the beginning of the football season. B off to a match. Only a few hours he doesn't do drinking before the game or after just the football. I may book shop or mooch around charity shops. Might get him to drop me off in Hillsborough and I'll mooch. We have  to return a rug I purchased on the last visit - its moulting chunks of cord  stuff - its a funky rug - don't ask!

I am chubby and weigh more than a stone than I did this time last year.  I need to tackle this in as cheap a way as possible.


Good things that have made me smile!!!!

1. Nice visit from Biggles mother - we had days out over the weekend - popped to the beach every day ! Weeny girl happy as a pug in muck!
3. Harvested a small crop of home grown potatoes all from a Sainsburys bag!!! Next time will spread them out a bit!!!
4. Red currants! I made super sweet red currant and elder flower sorbet!!1
5. An old honeydew melon left behind by Mother B  became Melon and mint sorbet!!! Goes really well with a small dollop of redcurrant sorbet!
6. Making fairy cakes with a fail proof recipe!!! with weeny one. we are liking that at the moment!

Off to GP tomorrow - going to ask for some happy pills.... again - (not the first time but I can recognise the signs) and something to help me sleep. I fret til late at night  and wrench myself from the point  of sleep with thoughts of what if... and I am wide awake again. My brain has a mind of its own lol.

I hope to get to see my Mum in September. Its really shite I don't have the money to visit her. 3hr + drive there and back eats petrol and I just don't have it at the moment.

B and I are supposed to have a few days off together - we couldn't get our leave to synch - specific demands of my new job,  his leave booked months and months in advance.

House goes - I move with B or  I move to  somewhere more affordable where I can work part time 
(4 days) or term time. Option B involves finding a a new job  or doing a PGCE. - I have my eye on one in (County Durham). This should give me more time to be the parent I want to be, be able to take weeny to swimming lessons, ballet etc etc 

PG or sell the house or both asap. No need for the silly pills then eh!
I would be just too lucky then and that's really not me!


xxx

Well this ain't the plan...

Ha when I left the ejaculation weeny was 8 months old. she was planned.  He was a bag of shite from  approx 20weeks gestation. I decided to go it alone.

The plan was to move out, buy a house, work full time till weeny was due to start school ( September 2012) then reduce my hours to term time.  The pay off for leaving my small child at nursery working full time making the sacrifices was that I would get to spend quality time when she was older - 4-5ish and would remember it more and need it more quite frankly. The plan was to work hard, be frugal pay off debt, make headway with the house before reducing hours and pay. I was doing ok. But that was last year. Thanks to that tory twat who shall remain nameless I was made redundant nearly a year ago. Ok I thought while under threat - new life plan required!!! House on market, look at living in cheaper areas etc etc Consider all options, think outside the box. be prepared to up sticks and  move, return to uni if necessary etc etc etc Find new job as an interim measure- done that twice.

The job is fine - money still no where near as good as I had previously and also further away. I am unable to get to work for 8:30 more like 8.40 - 8.45 so am late every day . Currently sneaking in the side enterance. There will also be times when I need to work late. This wil lcost in extra childcare which I will not make back.  I live 45 mins away from work thats after the ten min drive to day care.

Options - longer daycare for weeny one 7:30 start??? 6pm finish???? 10-11hrs a day???? Would have to look at child minders for this.
Starting school is a logistical nightmare which weighs on me. My choice of school is dictated by childcare. And the local school is quite frankly good for childcare, closer but shite for everything else. Practical but pants.

B has a posting to London better than Wiltshire. Our plans are buggerd thanks to this sodding house that no one wants. I can't even give it away.  Happy to loose up to 7k- well not happy but prepared.

I really cannot afford to live here- costs too much in time, money, quality of life for me and weeny- who is still desperate to start school, go to ballet and swimming lessons just like her little pals from two parent families who have supportive relatives- grand parents in the vicinity.

Cant afford to rent it out either.    Can the fairies magic it away please??? leaving a little pot of shiny stuff - not big half of the shiny stuff I put down will do.... ok 1/3rd???

Trying to wrack my brain for a solution but am stumped big time.
Financially I am working at a deficit all the time and will undoubtedly end up in more debt- not spent on clothes, fancy possession but bills, car costs, house repair expenses child care.

And to top ot off irrational little voice inteh head keeps going ''see  you failed again, haven't achieved and won't achieve anything you set out to do... looser, failure, under achiever...'' I know its irrational I shake myself but the naggin glittle twat sneaks in again with his mates regret and guilt to keep me up at night. tossers!

xx

More crap - something nice to report would be a change.

More crap. Got a speeding ticket, speed course to pay for. Yes was speeding by 5 miles on a road I am unfamilliar with in the country- Melmersby in cumbria, Grand total  £145.
MOT for old car to pay - car mechanic was very late getting the bill out and I really don't think this one is paid.  £139

So £300 so far.

There goes the private clinic - £ 285


I have never had so much debt in addition:

I owe M £3k
I owe B £900
I owe CC £900

I am not saving for anything as I have debt to pay.

Its been over 12 months since I was put at risk of redundancy. 11 months since I put the house on the market and I have  dropped 17k off the price. Dropping anymore and I will be making a loss if it ever sells.


I need to pay for the following in the coming months

Extra radiator approx 250
Car tax ( 115)
Dentist ( I owe 16.50 plus what ever treatment I require)
Shoes for weeny girl ( Clarkes 30 approx) The strap broke on her last ones that still fitted. Unable to be fixed and she is due new ones in September.


Am completely pig sick of it all. Wish I  had some nice stuff to show for the debt  lol but I don't.
Oh well - teeth gritted, tears wiped, fists clenched. Feck it!


Oh and to top it off the straw that broke the camels back was that my online bank was unable to show me a statement.

credit cards and utilites! Fugal questions!

The time is nearly upon me to switch utility companies and also credit card!

Utilities!


I am due to have gas central heating fitted soon. ( Not that bothered about it to be honest but its through a gov scheme so will cost very little). I have a few questions.

given that I am a skin flint and only spend £68 on electric each month could I potentially use/ spend about the same on dual fuel? ie Gas and electric. Am thinking £ 40 pcm Gas and 30 on Electric.

I will be shopping around for the best deal naturally and have used uswitch to identify some potential but given that I will have Gas its a new territory for me.


I hardly heat water but do use a dishwasher (my indulgence), only ever use washing machine at night when its cheap electricity , only  heat thhe room that I am using/intend to use as I have storage , go to bed early etc etc etc I have an electric shower.

What do you reckon Frugal folk??? Am I under estimating useage now that I will be changing to dual fuel???



Credit Cards - am I right in assuming that barclay card may be the best one at the moment?

Sigh,.....life shouldn't be this much of a mountain!

Well I need another blood test to establish if this is a one off or not. And have been ref to hospital. This may take too long for me and being the inpatient so and so I am have started to look at other options - private bloods, prescriptions etc. I shall only go as far as fertility drugs and that's it. B and bit disappointed - hasn't said so but I can tell.

Just my luck!!!! And I can't even blame that arse Cameron for this bit of bad luck.. no wait yes I can STRESS!!!!! House stress, job stress - he made the drastic Local Authority cuts and buggered the house market locally ( due partially to the cuts which has hit our area significantly. Biggest employer was LA.)

Better points - having gas fitted 29th July then work can begin asap and hopefully this will bring in more buyers.

I will have to fork out for an additional radiator in bathroom (£250 approx).   They will be used sparingly. I doubt it will be as cheap as £63 a month!!! And I will def scam for the best price for utilities.

After shopping weeny girl fell asleep in the car on the way home. I woke her up and she staggered to the sofa. Back to sleep. I put away shopping etc etc. No movement - put her to bed after removing shoes etc etc and is still asleep now - that's her for the evening.

Sigh I get to see so little of her it really is super bloody SHITE.

Bugger and Drat!

I hate hormones - have low progesterone so am off to the docs to see what can be done. Monday 9:40.

B having pants time at work and cannot wait to be posted. Dropped price on house. Still no interest as of yet. Will take any offers at this point but have a feeling we may be stuck with a commute which will be super shite if I have to take a drug regime. if fact these things conspiring will probably cock up our plans entirely. Poor B. He is really is getting shafted at the moment by work and nature.. sigh.


other than that we are off to see mother B in gods own county of Yorkshire tonight. Food, parks and rugs ( we need rugs to cover the crappy carpets incase I get viewings) Will price up with carpets as well and compare.

Waiting for good stuff to happen still. Lots of littel lovely things but the big ones are pressing on me at the moment.

got 650 for the car form the insurance so have given it to B for the loan. He was not impressed and told me to keep it but I woudl prefer to pay back asap. its his war money and I do believe he earn't it working 20 hours a day some times more in the land of red dust.


I have inherited a rather cool set of black and red biking leathers and had the obligatory biker tart shot with cleavage taken ( no face showing) for fun and think I looked quite good playing the part!!!


Doing research on low progesterone at the moment so busy onthe net with stuff. Will update after the docs on monday.


Stay well - I still read and comment and enjoy reading your blogs loads.

xxx

Eeek!

Apologies!

Normal service to be resumed at some point......


Super busy at work and the horrible word restructuring looms ( yes there is a chance that my role which has a  temp contract may have to be put in the available posts pot due to other looming staff redundancies)....  Sigh oh well have had this before and if all else fails will have my health,  a gorgeous daughter and lovely boyfriend!

Have much to do re DIY in the house. Having a push on trying to sell and unfortunately will be selling at a loss ( if it sells) but I cannot afford to stay regardless.  I am resigned to not getting all of my deposit back - House on market for 99,950 fixed price-  only 1950 more than I purchased it for! 

I have no margin for error in my current financial position even if there are no changes at work and the contract is made permanent - I just do not have enough coming in unfortunately so no buffer zone in case of emergencies and the new car has zapped the savings. I have  £100 left after essential bills outgoings etc. This goes towards car insurance, MOT, servicing, dental, weeny shoes etc etc. Any more hiccups and the financial mire will get me!!! 

Always the option of living in Biggles house when he get posted but I will have to get rid of lots of stuff/furniture  and also add approx 200 to any rental income I get. to meet mortgage, standing charge, insurances.  Renting  the house is very risky as I have no buffer for maintenance or when there are no tenants or to pay for water, standing charges or council tax (- no policy here of no council tax even if a property is left empty even without furniture.)

I am due ( I hope) to have the central heating put in at some point so maybe this will drum up more interest in the house....  This is by government grant. Not  supposed to sell or be selling but this came about after I applied for the grant and was accepted due to finances and having a small child. I may in reality be living here for while anyway.

So peeps short on time and short on money! ( ain't that always the way!)  Weeny girl is desperate to start Ballet and swimming and I feel a bit crap that I have no time or money to do that for her. She is also desperate  to start nursery ( big school). This is another headache as I would have to find alternative childcare for holidays and after school. The school do not currently provide anything. I would have preferred her to stay where she is for additional care for stability but that looks unworkable.

Other than that Weeny girl grand, Biggles grand.... me getting by. Feeling the weight of the single parent thing - not having enough time to parent, responsible for everything and finding it difficult to keep on top of it all. I would really like to be in rented accommodation right now and not have to worry about maintenance or selling or mortgage rates or spend precious time  painting/sanding which could be  spent focusing on mothering. Biggles is a great support. last night I mentioned I should really get some new towels - been a long long time and it shows ( Grubby towels even a boil wash can't change).  The old romantic ( lol) snuck in and left me a full set of new white bath towels which I got when I came in from work.. Bless him. He picks up Weeny when he can and will lend me his hoover and labour when needed. ( His hoover is better than mine)
My poor cats are very neglected and far down the priority list after having their basic needs met.
xxx