Monday, 5 November 2012

The Catabolt and other stories or in which I avoid hospitalisation by the skin of my teeth.

Cats can get up to about 42 miles per hour or so I was told... when going full pelt, which is technically faster than Usain.Ok only short distances. I have two cats but I won't get anymore. Weeny is aggravated by them - Eczema so the poor buggers are confined to the kitchen mostly. I like Bolt. This pic amuses me.

Anyways the ancient bod finally properly kicked into gear yesterday.. long time coming and getting to the point of potential enforced hospitalisation again.  Doc who is a dear and knows my gynae history in full will do the ancient hcg tests. Hence I knew non viable which I knew before anyway before nature had taken its course. (I got the test having a history of now 7 M/c - mostly from before weeny girl with ex husband so am well versed with what my body does. Bye bye symptoms hello non viable pregnancy. None of this no symptom crap and remaining pg for me.  Anyhoo lovely doc knows this and will do bloods for me. Common in yankville but no so much here anymore. Was threatened with the pants scan at EPAU if the body didn't start doing what it should but finally and thankfully.... Don't like the day stays or the methotrexate type stuff they fill you with or the sodding mad sorry midwives.

Last time I went in in 2010 after having diagnosed my own m/c by two private scans. (Had a different gp doc  then  and I couldn't argue with this one so resulted to private sector. They always think they know bloody best. Took me £200 to prove I was right.  Fecker Gp at the time didn't realise I have been down this path before many times and seen expensive docs for help and investigations. Ok so you don't read my notes then! Meh!

Anyhoo cheeky biatch  madwife at hospital on scan confirming what I had already told them - non viable pg where upon development had ceased early hence Missed miscarriage, said in that disdainful tone of voice ''well you don't seem  very upset '' and skewed her face at me -. Grr snap snap "No love that was a fortnight ago when I got the first private scan which didn't fit with my dates which are always right. Yes they are always right. Living  8 years of obsessed fertility monitoring, m/c's, bonking  and 1 successful pg you get good at taking control and you get practised at it. Even the student doc smiled when I informed her of my actual emotional positioning and the full reasons why. Silly cow shouldn't  have judged  and listened more. Probably my ''assertive'' shall we say or ha ha aggressive stance put her off a bit. Yeah can face things full on. My bad I know.

The hosp gynae doc was fantastic. Listened and understood and was efficient. Just as my lovely GP Dr is now. He gets it. He is also overseas trained or rather has practised overseas where practises are different hence the hcg often the bastion of fertility clinics and post IVF on getting a positive result. They should rise and double every so many days parts per something of your blood. Can't recall what they are exactly. Nice chap. I like him.

Anyway I am pleased. Very pleased. Given the circumstances. No need for the day stay being fed chemicals and bored shitless, dwelling.

Moving on time. I am seeing doc on Thursday to arrange to get hormone tests done again for general fertility . Will need to leave it a month or so till ones bod returneth to 'normal'. Will then find out if its still worth trying or not. part of me is hoping that the FSH is high and  progesterone off kilter then I have no choice but to accept no. Easier that way I think than hope in the face of decreasing returns. Easier for Biggles too I think. This really got his hopes up.... again.

And buggery fuck to all those that think swearing is dreadful and terrible and utterly awful and vile blah de blah.  Yawn  I wonder if real life for some exists outside of blag sorry blogland.....????

have worked out how to remove meself from dead blogs. I is chuffed.


  1. Hope it works out the way you want it to.

    I've been there and it's true, nobody knows your body like you do.

    I had one doctor tell me I couldn't have got pregnant when I did because it didn't match the dates. Uhm, one partner, and I know when he was home.

    Just stay true to yourself.

  2. Yep me too. Yes it becomes more organised through circumstance when your partner is away.

    Also when your window of opportunity is limited you employ if you are an obsessive control freak like me every means know to get the gametes to meet.

    tc. eek

  3. I'm so sorry things haven't worked out. Radiographers are as bad in my experience. One insisted I wasn't pregnant with KL - 4th pregnancy (probably 5th - certain I had a very early m/c coming back on a flight from Majorca). After a missed m/c at 15 weeks , then K, then an ectopic, then the events on the flight I damn well knew I was pregnant. She ate her words after doing a vaginal scan - there was my little KL - a tiny 5 week viable pregnancy with a beating heart. I so hope that you too experience the joy of having another child. Swear all you want to - I do wonder if some people realise that bloggers live real lives, not feature in a soap opera.

  4. 15 weeks. That is very cruel. Maybe it will if not I will cope. I have a miracle child and she cures many many upsets just by looking at me and similing.