Monday, 5 November 2012

Dear Santa.......

Dear Santa
In reply to your short but detailed request, and your implying i kiss ass...i need to clear the air so to speak..I know your busy..filling the sleigh, micro-managing the elves and doing god knows what with the ho ho ho's in the secretarial pool..But ive had enough..i find it ironic and morbidly amusing that kids all over the world view you as the very p...
icture of kindness and generosity, when we both know its all an act, all smiles and merriment, but take off the phony beard and red coat and your nothing but a cynical, grouchy old bastard. You've built an entire career around knowing who's been naughty and who's been nice....but take a look at yourself..YOUR 99% bitter old drunk..Please do not attempt to contact me directly as i have no interest in discussing this further..Oh one more thing.. im not interested in your request for a "Reverse Sleigh Ride"..i have no idea what that means but it sounds far too kinky for my for the Chivas Regal and Toblerone...shove it.

I stole this. Bah humbug!

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