Biggles and I had a week off together - whay hey!!! The three of us trundled to Scotland to see my sister and family.
We had planned to do lots of things but my cousins funeral was Wednesday mid week after bank hols. I wanted to go as did my sister so we arranged to fly to Norwich in the morning and back that evening.
Prior to that we had a bike adventure. Weeny stayed with her auntie for treats and jubilee parties.
Biggles and I headed off on the bike for an adventure all the way to the Kyle of Lochalsh and Skye.
We camped by Eilen Donan ( Sorry not the right Gaelic spelling). It was lovely. My MOT was due so we headed back to Northumberland on Thursday. We ate out - three times. Horrendous. but you don't have much options if you are biking.
The funeral was so very very wrong. Surreal as she had taken her own life. The eulogy from her family alluded to this albeit nicelyish but there was tension and blame.
Good to reconnect with other family members but in really shitty circumstances.
It was as I thought - unhappy marriage a huge violent argument with her daughter who apparently had slapped her mother and tore the shirt from her back. She is apparently a very spoilt girl. Likely that her the young daughter will lose touch with her great grand mother and father. Its all very tragic and sad for all and especially my cousin. Not everyone is blessed with strength in the face of adversity. Some keep getting up again and like they say you can't keep a good dog down but not everyone is made of sterner stuff.
It was never appropriate to ask too many questions. We got the gist of it and let people speak but he atmosphere was there. Wakes are often celebrations of life. This one def wasn't.
Hopefully at peace now and I pray for strength for her parents, sister and children to get through it.
Her sister confirmed that her husband was possessive, jealous, controlling though never violent but moody and had the purse strings but we all knew that from a long time ago and some leopards never change their spots.
But camping by motorbike was ace!!!
I return to my dilemma...... ahhhhhhh lol Will get there. I do need a change though- or at least need to try for a change. I am not ready to settle just yet. There is life in the old dog and she is eager and sniffing for a new challenge. Which one I really do not know. ha ha
Monday, 18 June 2012
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Dilemas Dilemas--- any thoughts???? Any and all welcome
I will do a catch up post as its been nearly a month since I dropped in.
I am in a major dilemma. I have places for both courses - the three year podiatry degree and the 9mth PGCE.
I swing towards teaching then back to podiatry. Ahhh It an agonising decision. I cannot defer teaching as the funding will be cut for next year so likely course will not be running.
Podiatry is three years so the sooner I start the better.
Ahhhh
I could defer podiatry and save some cash/pay off some debts but to be honest I will be in a similar if not better financial position once a student. Looks as if I will have more cash actually than when working full time, paying council tax and full rent and 30% of my child care fees and commuting 50 miles a day.
In Three years( - well its 33 months to be precise as the last summer does not count!) I will be 42 going on 43. Is there a lot more I could achieve in a year as a qualified podiatrist? IE could I defer for a year save money etc etc It would not help my career as I would be working in a completely different area once studies completed.
Bugger Bugger Bugger.
Employment prospects I think would be better with podiatry. And I can always take a PCET PGCE if I am that desperate afterwards to work with teenagers. They do keep you young and you have to have a sense of humour.
I would find work after PGCE - I have careers post grad quals that would make me more employable esp in conjunction with PGCE.
Debt accrued via student loans is greater with PGCE 9k + 3k - 12k approx
Podiatry - 6k or there abouts.
However I would get back to work quicker after PGCE and term time would be ideal with weeny girl.
How long term time would be useful - till she is about 13 I suppose.
Podiatry can be part time no probs however not quite term time but how long would that be useful for??? I will be term time as a student for two summers, three Christmas's etc etc
Any thoughts as my head is buckled.
Which would I prefer.... That's equally tough so am looking at the practical side to help me make my decision.
Do I see myself as a teacher.... hmmm I have worked so long in informal ed - youth work and as a careers adviser I am not sure. Could I work with parents..... other teachers - and there are some stick up their arses in that profession - sorry to my lovely teacher peeps but you know the sort particular to teaching and academics.
Is my grammar good enough - it really needs some work and I only have two chances of passing the QTS maths and |English test.
Maybe the 9 months is a big gamble...... PGCE.
Smelly feet, pus, festering things - no problem !!!!
I am in a major dilemma. I have places for both courses - the three year podiatry degree and the 9mth PGCE.
I swing towards teaching then back to podiatry. Ahhh It an agonising decision. I cannot defer teaching as the funding will be cut for next year so likely course will not be running.
Podiatry is three years so the sooner I start the better.
Ahhhh
I could defer podiatry and save some cash/pay off some debts but to be honest I will be in a similar if not better financial position once a student. Looks as if I will have more cash actually than when working full time, paying council tax and full rent and 30% of my child care fees and commuting 50 miles a day.
In Three years( - well its 33 months to be precise as the last summer does not count!) I will be 42 going on 43. Is there a lot more I could achieve in a year as a qualified podiatrist? IE could I defer for a year save money etc etc It would not help my career as I would be working in a completely different area once studies completed.
Bugger Bugger Bugger.
Employment prospects I think would be better with podiatry. And I can always take a PCET PGCE if I am that desperate afterwards to work with teenagers. They do keep you young and you have to have a sense of humour.
I would find work after PGCE - I have careers post grad quals that would make me more employable esp in conjunction with PGCE.
Debt accrued via student loans is greater with PGCE 9k + 3k - 12k approx
Podiatry - 6k or there abouts.
However I would get back to work quicker after PGCE and term time would be ideal with weeny girl.
How long term time would be useful - till she is about 13 I suppose.
Podiatry can be part time no probs however not quite term time but how long would that be useful for??? I will be term time as a student for two summers, three Christmas's etc etc
Any thoughts as my head is buckled.
Which would I prefer.... That's equally tough so am looking at the practical side to help me make my decision.
Do I see myself as a teacher.... hmmm I have worked so long in informal ed - youth work and as a careers adviser I am not sure. Could I work with parents..... other teachers - and there are some stick up their arses in that profession - sorry to my lovely teacher peeps but you know the sort particular to teaching and academics.
Is my grammar good enough - it really needs some work and I only have two chances of passing the QTS maths and |English test.
Maybe the 9 months is a big gamble...... PGCE.
Smelly feet, pus, festering things - no problem !!!!
Normal Service shall resume soon....
Normal service shall resume shortly. Promise. All ok this end. Hope you are all too.
Thank you for your prayers Christine.
XXXX Eeek
Thank you for your prayers Christine.
XXXX Eeek
Monday, 21 May 2012
Back to work after a weeks confinement with Mrs Scratchit who is now de poxed. Missed her loads and loads. Sigh.
There will be an autopsy and post mortem for my cousin. My poor Uncle and Auntie are in limbo. All they want to do is see their little girl but have to wait. She should be in the chapple of rest by the end of the week.
My other dear chum has had her second IVF failure. They didn't even get to egg transfer.No viable eggs/embryos. She is only 35. They have decided to call it a day. She needs, she feels, to move on. It has been 8 years. She is very sad but relieved at the closure as it has been a long hard fraught road.
We had an impromtu trip to the Smoke on Thursday. I returned Sunday. Biggles as a regular customer gets points and these points he cashes in for tickets for me to use to give him break from travelling every so often. As Mrs Scratchit was well on her way to sans pox adn was 100% scabby pox we hopped on a train. I had the time off so thought we may as well make the best of it. Its a very quick turn around if we go on Friday and come back Sunday.
Lovely time mooching around nappy valley in South London. My god the money that resides there!!!! The kids in designer kegs, the brunch mothers in cafes having coffee that costs the same as my electricity bill for a fortnight. Saying that I have some very very very well paid chums who can afford to live in central London to the tune of the best part of 2.5k rent per calendar month. Lovely people but a different world financially. Saturday after a day playing in Coram Fields not far form Russell Square ( Sadly famous for the 7/7 bus bomb) we met up with Biggles for a chineese buffet and a mooch around Gerard Street. I kept saying Stowel Street - oops that would be Newcastle China Town. After feeding our faces ( only £10 per head and half price for weeny) we mooched to Trafalgar Square. Weeny sat for a very nice caracature from one of the portrain street artists near the National Gallery courtesy of Biggles before heading back to Clapham. Oh and the huge ice cream he bought her.
Weeny loves her trips to the big smoke. We have a routine - day one spent in Clapham or rather on the common - feeding ducks and playing in park. Day two meet up with little buddy and mummy;s dear school chum in Russell Square. Stay up late watching family film/DVD then back to park on Sunday. We always have Eggy bread - French toast to posh folk for Saturday breakfast. Weeny's choice. Weeny sleeps in the living room on a double sofa bed but comes traisping through in the morning. We have to pretend not to hear her. before being jumped on. She stays up late and fo rsome reason sleeps late as well. At home we are up for swimming/school/family visits so its always an early one. It was 10am on Sunday - Biggles and I made the best of it. ;-)
The only bugger is the leaving of Biggles. She gets so much more upset than if we wave goodbye at the station. She howled and cried and had real tears then shrieked when he couldn't come to the train to wave us off. You need tickets to get past the barriers in Kings Cross. Biggles gets upset to the point of glassy eye ness when she is like this. Its rotten for them both. Makes us both think alot.
There will be an autopsy and post mortem for my cousin. My poor Uncle and Auntie are in limbo. All they want to do is see their little girl but have to wait. She should be in the chapple of rest by the end of the week.
My other dear chum has had her second IVF failure. They didn't even get to egg transfer.No viable eggs/embryos. She is only 35. They have decided to call it a day. She needs, she feels, to move on. It has been 8 years. She is very sad but relieved at the closure as it has been a long hard fraught road.
We had an impromtu trip to the Smoke on Thursday. I returned Sunday. Biggles as a regular customer gets points and these points he cashes in for tickets for me to use to give him break from travelling every so often. As Mrs Scratchit was well on her way to sans pox adn was 100% scabby pox we hopped on a train. I had the time off so thought we may as well make the best of it. Its a very quick turn around if we go on Friday and come back Sunday.
Lovely time mooching around nappy valley in South London. My god the money that resides there!!!! The kids in designer kegs, the brunch mothers in cafes having coffee that costs the same as my electricity bill for a fortnight. Saying that I have some very very very well paid chums who can afford to live in central London to the tune of the best part of 2.5k rent per calendar month. Lovely people but a different world financially. Saturday after a day playing in Coram Fields not far form Russell Square ( Sadly famous for the 7/7 bus bomb) we met up with Biggles for a chineese buffet and a mooch around Gerard Street. I kept saying Stowel Street - oops that would be Newcastle China Town. After feeding our faces ( only £10 per head and half price for weeny) we mooched to Trafalgar Square. Weeny sat for a very nice caracature from one of the portrain street artists near the National Gallery courtesy of Biggles before heading back to Clapham. Oh and the huge ice cream he bought her.
Weeny loves her trips to the big smoke. We have a routine - day one spent in Clapham or rather on the common - feeding ducks and playing in park. Day two meet up with little buddy and mummy;s dear school chum in Russell Square. Stay up late watching family film/DVD then back to park on Sunday. We always have Eggy bread - French toast to posh folk for Saturday breakfast. Weeny's choice. Weeny sleeps in the living room on a double sofa bed but comes traisping through in the morning. We have to pretend not to hear her. before being jumped on. She stays up late and fo rsome reason sleeps late as well. At home we are up for swimming/school/family visits so its always an early one. It was 10am on Sunday - Biggles and I made the best of it. ;-)
The only bugger is the leaving of Biggles. She gets so much more upset than if we wave goodbye at the station. She howled and cried and had real tears then shrieked when he couldn't come to the train to wave us off. You need tickets to get past the barriers in Kings Cross. Biggles gets upset to the point of glassy eye ness when she is like this. Its rotten for them both. Makes us both think alot.
Sunday, 20 May 2012
My poor cousin.... RIP
My poor cousin died today. She took an overdose and was found this morning. She was only 42... just. She had two grown up children - 19 and 22 and a grand daughter. She had been unhappy in her marriage for a long time and was scared at the prospect of leaving I think. She had always worked part time. She had her family very young and gave up full time work for a long long time. She had no career to speak of or qualifications and so leaving her husband must have been a very scary option. He had control of the finances apart from her meagre part time wage which was her 'pin money'.
She lived quite far away from me but we kept in touch through more often than not Face book. I am thinking this was a cry for help gone wrong. According to to my uncle She had had an argument with her daughter who had said she would stop her from seeing her grand daughter. Silly daughter talking rubbish in the heat of the moment. In her right mind she would have known that this was a hot headed young girl being silly who could not do with out the help of her mum. I believe there was alcohol involved later that evening. Alcohol is evil and can colour any ones judgement especially if you have a few underlying self esteem issues as well. She loved her kids very very much and they were the reasons she stayed with her moody bottom lip dropping husband all these years. She would never in her right mind have wanted her daughter to feel responsible for this. Her husband well that's a different story as you can tell I thought he was a nob. He was scared of wasps and would run from them. No allergies- just plain chicken namby pamby weed. Only ever had bubonic plague versions of man flu and would huff worse than any four year old who doesn't like taking turns. Though I never saw it I would bet my life he wouldn't be any good for her self esteem. He reminded me of a real life Ian Beale. I doubt he ever offered encouragement to anything outside of the home or more than part time in sainsburys stacking shelves. I know he was jealous minded and paranoid. Not violent but a prat and a nasty little prat at that. Leaving him would be so very scary. She had never lived alone before. She was also three hours journey time from her parents or sister and had been for years. I'm sure he wanted to move to get away from the other family - ie her family.
Its so very tragic and a such a waste. My uncle is shell shocked. You should never have to bury your children. An old saying but right. My auntie cannot speak. My dear old mum would be devastated. My Uncle was her youngest brother. She was the oldest and the only girl so second mum to the youngest two kids by all accounts. She adored his kids as well. Both of them but especially his youngest. My cousin was practically at her parents wedding but not quite IYKWIM.
Wish I could have given her the strength and self belief. We can all have a whine and blogger often has a cathartic purpose for me but I'm hardy at the end of the day and some dogs take a deep breath and find their growl again once you have booted them. My cousin wasn't like that. I hope she has found peace but given the circumstances of her passing I don't know if that will be.
Feeling thankful for hardiness and a stubborn streak.
XXXX night peeps.
She lived quite far away from me but we kept in touch through more often than not Face book. I am thinking this was a cry for help gone wrong. According to to my uncle She had had an argument with her daughter who had said she would stop her from seeing her grand daughter. Silly daughter talking rubbish in the heat of the moment. In her right mind she would have known that this was a hot headed young girl being silly who could not do with out the help of her mum. I believe there was alcohol involved later that evening. Alcohol is evil and can colour any ones judgement especially if you have a few underlying self esteem issues as well. She loved her kids very very much and they were the reasons she stayed with her moody bottom lip dropping husband all these years. She would never in her right mind have wanted her daughter to feel responsible for this. Her husband well that's a different story as you can tell I thought he was a nob. He was scared of wasps and would run from them. No allergies- just plain chicken namby pamby weed. Only ever had bubonic plague versions of man flu and would huff worse than any four year old who doesn't like taking turns. Though I never saw it I would bet my life he wouldn't be any good for her self esteem. He reminded me of a real life Ian Beale. I doubt he ever offered encouragement to anything outside of the home or more than part time in sainsburys stacking shelves. I know he was jealous minded and paranoid. Not violent but a prat and a nasty little prat at that. Leaving him would be so very scary. She had never lived alone before. She was also three hours journey time from her parents or sister and had been for years. I'm sure he wanted to move to get away from the other family - ie her family.
Its so very tragic and a such a waste. My uncle is shell shocked. You should never have to bury your children. An old saying but right. My auntie cannot speak. My dear old mum would be devastated. My Uncle was her youngest brother. She was the oldest and the only girl so second mum to the youngest two kids by all accounts. She adored his kids as well. Both of them but especially his youngest. My cousin was practically at her parents wedding but not quite IYKWIM.
Wish I could have given her the strength and self belief. We can all have a whine and blogger often has a cathartic purpose for me but I'm hardy at the end of the day and some dogs take a deep breath and find their growl again once you have booted them. My cousin wasn't like that. I hope she has found peace but given the circumstances of her passing I don't know if that will be.
Feeling thankful for hardiness and a stubborn streak.
XXXX night peeps.
Sunday, 13 May 2012
A pox on it a pox!!
Our weekend hath been blighted! And weeny in particular of course. She is fine in herself a bit uncomfortable but getting by with the help of poxicillin - a cooling mousse for the vari wotsit virus. Very bloody expensive at £10.47 from Boots but it works.
She managed swimming and a soft play party before her spots developed. Her fancy dress party was then cancelled. Small baby there. She took it in good spirits after I explained about the baby. A bit sad.
We are in and shall remain so till the spots are scabby. I figure about a week probably. I may use the rear entrance at work - its the workman's entrance and pop in each day with weeny just to get things done. Its a really busy week! Ahh I am hoping I can take special leave as i have all my hols booked as does Biggles.
We have feasted so far thanks in part to approved food lol
The nicest Thai Curry sauce for 0.008333333 of a penny per sachet!!! Friday
Chocolate cake - triple layered lots of scotbloc filling! So tasty! Though the benefit of reduced sugar has been negated by the scotbloc and butter cream filling.
I shall be approved fooding again asap just to purchase the above!!!!
Today we have the cooking bacon lasagna - well bacon and chicken and veg lasagna, garlic bread.... ooooo it is nice! I have made two one for us and one for the freezer. Will each feed two and a bit people. Biggles staying till Monday night as he is getting the bike serviced so we have an extra evening before the working week begins again. Short one - Fabulous!!!
If I didn't have so much to do at work weeny and I would go with him for the week and hang out in London. She is nearly past the contagious stage. When the spots are all out and crusty all good to go! She was contagious last week but nursery and school say five days minimum till crustiness! Some are crusty already! She heals well!!! That's my girl the breast feeding ( till 2+) the grubbiness and good immune system genes must be working!
She managed swimming and a soft play party before her spots developed. Her fancy dress party was then cancelled. Small baby there. She took it in good spirits after I explained about the baby. A bit sad.
We are in and shall remain so till the spots are scabby. I figure about a week probably. I may use the rear entrance at work - its the workman's entrance and pop in each day with weeny just to get things done. Its a really busy week! Ahh I am hoping I can take special leave as i have all my hols booked as does Biggles.
We have feasted so far thanks in part to approved food lol
The nicest Thai Curry sauce for 0.008333333 of a penny per sachet!!! Friday
Chocolate cake - triple layered lots of scotbloc filling! So tasty! Though the benefit of reduced sugar has been negated by the scotbloc and butter cream filling.
I shall be approved fooding again asap just to purchase the above!!!!
Today we have the cooking bacon lasagna - well bacon and chicken and veg lasagna, garlic bread.... ooooo it is nice! I have made two one for us and one for the freezer. Will each feed two and a bit people. Biggles staying till Monday night as he is getting the bike serviced so we have an extra evening before the working week begins again. Short one - Fabulous!!!
If I didn't have so much to do at work weeny and I would go with him for the week and hang out in London. She is nearly past the contagious stage. When the spots are all out and crusty all good to go! She was contagious last week but nursery and school say five days minimum till crustiness! Some are crusty already! She heals well!!! That's my girl the breast feeding ( till 2+) the grubbiness and good immune system genes must be working!
Saturday, 12 May 2012
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