Found it.... a good thing happens?? maybe more????

Found my ring today. old engagement ring from marriage years ago. nice - thought I had lost it. keeping it for weeny for inheritance jewellery type stuff. Turns out I was not as stupid as I thought I had been and had put it in a safe place after wearing it to a wedding do at the end of September. Found it and am chuffed.

I miss Froogs. Nuff said.

I caved...

Have a ddoctors appt tomorrow for happy tablets. I need them to focus and keep a lid on the anxiety. I will bite the bullet and admit it when one needs some chemical help. I am obsessing at night before bed if I am not watching telly to the small hours to avoid the obsessing that is , on fails- things I have failed to do. achieve etc etc I need to stop and focus and not care as much and I need some conjoured brain hormones to do it!

I also made an appointment to see the homelessness officer - next week see if I can get any help with a council house. I don't want to get rid of my old puss cats nor rent a rubbish flat from a slum lord.   Cheap housing will leave me with more money to pay off my debts and also  start to save and be nicer for weeny girl. Someoutside space would be nice. Not alot but a wee bit.

Ebaying still - some folk are strange. Have two items of furniture  that have been sold to highest bidder.. Collection in person stipulated on advert.  One has ignored me so I may give her a day and then relist. Another asked me to deliver as she claims her car is not big enough for items.  I was taking them half way to work and do not have time to drop off at random address's. made this clear to buyer- not at lunch time or after work and not at the weekend. 

One large item - the buggy I am taking half way as I want to go to tesco's and have combined it with meeting another buyer. So all in not a bad trip and justified by the £45 I will get. The other cheeky can sod off. Next time I shall be strict about collection/COD and state in big letters on the advert - no paypal no sale no collection no sale.  Some folks are just rude.

Good Peeps in the big bad world

 Unbeknown to me I dropped my phone. A lovely lady handed it in to the RSPCA shop. I was greeted at work by the receptionist anouncing that a friend had been on the phone to let her know that I had dropped my phone but all was well. Ahhhh  How nice. I was shocked adn surprised and very very glad!!!  I have the persons number and will be texting my thank yous.

Also using hte turn to us benefits checker if I rent privately I may be entitled to Housing benefit.  if this is right then this is good and very helpful. I could even look to reduce hours to 30 per week- not much differencce in money but hte quality time would be fantastic.My quandry is weeny girl. I do not want to move her to a new school then look to move her again as wherever I go I do not think I shall stay forever. Story not over yet I hope..... 

I need to check out the position re HB incase the website is wrong.  I have sources and maybe they can verify my calculations. I find CAB nortorioulsy crap at helping out with these things so will use other sources.

I can always pick up some extra work here and there given that there is a facility for  book by the week/day child care for 3yr+  Which is where she will be going in September 2012 after her wonderful though expensive day care nursery ends.

It will be less stressful moving her only when I have a definite plan re where to go and what to do.

Am considering rentals in the Morpeth or Whitley Bay area. Both are cloer to work adn not horrendous areas. Not where I woudl choose to live but I don't have choice. I have options and pro and cons to be weighed up.


I need to source decent child care as well this is the bigger worry for me. It is such a major part of Weeny girls life that it needs to be good and she needs to be happy.

Other than thaqt I am really tired. I am not sleeping at the moment. I am still coming to terms with not have anything at all even a thousand pounds form the house sale and being left having to find two thousand pounds and having nothing to show for it debt.

I worry about  not being able to save for a new car - mine is 7 years old and I need a plan. I worry about my pension the fact that I only started it at 30 and do not earn a great deal to make it particularly comforrtable retirement.

I worry about house deposits - never having another one.  no investment no financial freedom unles I scrounge

Retraining not retraining - such a risk and realistically could I afford it or the time.

My epic family fail - a sibling for weeny would have been lovely for her. She asks as other mothers are reproducing at nursery.  Bless her lonesome. Some one to whinge about me to when she is older who understands where she is coming from.

Dragging weeny from home to home - this is her third home in so many years. whereever I move to will not be to settle. I don't know where the story ends anymore.

Foul mood !

In a foul one despite trying to cheer myself up with some charity shopping.

Was very short with B who is now listening to football in the kitchen. Am still having ups and downs about my finances and how I will br left with less than nothing, having to move to rented accomm probably in an area that is not pleasant  for weeny to grow up  but we will have to move there just because it is cheaper/closer to work. 

Financially I am in more debt than I have been since I 'grew 'up ( late twenties when I stopped being a pratt with money). I feel it is unlikely that I will ever own another house or be able to pay off  a mortgage or have  a decent pension plan. So many things seem so so far away now. Retraining is out. I couldn't afford to move or will I have debt apid off by September 2012.  retraining will incurr debt too. I will be nearly 41 by the time I finish in 2013 and will have a financial mountain to climb.  

So all the opportunities I wanted to provide for my child are off the list. A roof over her head is probably the most I can do. Can't even give her quality time..... bless she will only ever have five weeks a year with me other weeks approx 3hrs per day.  Spoke to a woman at work who was explaining how good her daughter was at letting her self in to the house when she gets home from school. Her daughter is 11. I would liket o be able to do phonics with my daughter but by the time she gets back form day care she is too tired. Swimming, dancing in face anything during the week are all out.

The bti I hate the most is n being stuck. I am a doer. If I don't like something I change it or change me or make compromises. I have nothing to compromise on - I have no choices.  And the pill is bitter.

Brighter note - bargains had - denim jacket and tiger lilly top for weeny - for 3.47 all in. Me _ very funky spotty, flowery purple, red, yellow - sounds mad and it is - smock top type thing for 4.


Off to drool over houses that I shall never afford.

Heating fail!!!

No not the actual heating but the fact that it was put on . The Biggles came in with the weeny one before me and felt cold so the heating went on. It is off now so only about three hours damage done.  It will be on again tomorrow for a little bit as the B doesn't like the cold  and will be on again over the weekend most likely. Oh well at least I wasnt the guilty one!

Weeny and he had fish and chips. they will be eating pizza tomorrow night with garlic bread as I have a late night - do the job till its done night at work.

I had a cheese sandwich and some banana cake for tea. Suits me can't beat bread and cheese.


Night all a warmed up bed is a calling.

PS Sold a few more bits on Ebay - another thirty quid!  Not bad eh! So about sixty in total so far. May be squeeze about 100 in the end. With enviro clothes, gold sale and vouchers Weeny has a christmas! B doing all the grub which is lovely of him. I am rejecting all presents bar for weeny and shall refuse to open them if he does buy any. He has been warned. I am not buying a bean for anyone bar the weeny. Hmph! SO there.